Simple Home Remedies

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BruceR&C

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
Joined
May 22, 2007
Messages
2,433
Location
Salem, AL
Don't normally pass these things on but, after I rread this one, I couldn't resist:

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an
egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will
be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget all about the tooth ache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES . . . THEY ARE NOT
REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN
YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
 
Hahahahaha.....you are real funny! :rolleyes:
Your new job......
Scrub both bathrooms with bleach and your old toothbrush (I have mine hidden so don't even think about it!) LMAO! :p
 
Man, Flat can't get away with anything around here. :D

I use a variation of number 2 when working in the shop.
 
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