Endless BS thread

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Most kids now spend their time on the computer and natural selection can't get to them until they're older. :rolleyes:

It might have worked if they would have pick a street without driveways.
 
Just a thought I had: In the movie the Matrix, previous generations ruined the planet so built machines and computers to create a Utopian world for future generations to live our whole lives within. But that wasn't good enough for Morpheus and crew, so they had to ruin it for everybody.
 
Most kids now spend their time on the computer and natural selection can't get to them until they're older. :rolleyes:

It might have worked if they would have pick a street without driveways.

I am always seeing videos of kids riding their skateboards off 2 story drops and stuff like that. We did stupid stuff when I was a kid but not blatently ignorant suicidal stuff, I don't think. But there was that time my brother jumped off the barn with a tarp for a parachute. Good thing manure is soft.
 
COULDN'T RESIST....[ddd

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Subject: Harley Rider

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, and severely banged my head.

Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up and the beautiful woman driver asked "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I will take you to my house so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That's nice of you," I answered, “but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!”

"Oh, come now, I am a nurse" she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty, and very persuasive and being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just few miles away, and after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging,
I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, unbuttoning her blouse. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything, and by the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess." I replied.
 
Scotch?

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She touched a drop of the golden liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"

"No," said the little boy, "It's a puppy."
 
Scotch?

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She touched a drop of the golden liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"

"No," said the little boy, "It's a puppy."

[cl
 
Dear Diary

My rat truck was parked at the yard today as usual but tonight it had a split fuel hose that had dripped all day. After crawling under it and getting a gas bath i wondered why it was still dripping.
Well as i repaired it, the radiator hose next to it had begun leaking! I was getting ready to make a dash for home because i couldn't repair it there when i noticed a bird had gotten in under the hood and laid an egg on top of the hei!
Got home to discover a new gas leak had begun. Inside the house a scorpion was loose in the living room.
 
My rat truck was parked at the yard today as usual but tonight it had a split fuel hose that had dripped all day. After crawling under it and getting a gas bath i wondered why it was still dripping.
Well as i repaired it, the radiator hose next to it had begun leaking! I was getting ready to make a dash for home because i couldn't repair it there when i noticed a bird had gotten in under the hood and laid an egg on top of the hei!
Got home to discover a new gas leak had begun. Inside the house a scorpion was loose in the living room.

Sounds like maybe your glad yesterday is over.:eek:
 

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