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Old 10-19-2021, 12:27 PM
MercuryMac's Avatar
MercuryMac MercuryMac is online now
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Northern Alberta, Canada.
Posts: 3,909

That is an option ,Bob, but it's a long one, so I wasn't looking forward to all of that work.

Hard Lunch

You'll need more managment, more skill, 'n more luck
If you're gonna' eat your lunch, while drivin' in a truck.
You're going down the road, without a dinner break,
Now you've got to eat and drive, so you, concentrate.
Called multi-tasking, this eating and drivin', two at a time.
To be successful, your skills at each must be sublime.
Surely, you'll roll your truck in the ditch and be a sorry dude
If you move, while lookin' down at that box that's got your food.
Both eyes should point to the front, one hand has to steer,
The other hand is for the stick, to sometimes change a gear.
So, occasion'lly, you can eat with one hand, and you're blind,
This makes it hard to open your kit, and guess what you find
Your sandwiches are clung in Saran-wrap to keep them nice. --
If you have trouble unwrapping things, times that maybe thrice,
'Cause you're workin' blind, bouncing, with one lonely hand,
Removin' Saran Wrap takes more time than you had planned.
The sandwich is a mess, the lettuce is stuck to neither slice,
Pieces of bread are out of kilter, the ham's on the seat.
To drive and fix this up, you're just goin' to hav'ta' peek.
While holding this remade thing and thinkin' ahead,
You've got to rewrap the rest, or let'm dry out instead.
Supper's a way off, and old sandwiches are gross at best,
So, you'll want the remaining bread, 'cellophane dressed'.
Factor in, one hand, blinkered while driving in your truck,
Wrappin' mushed up food with mushed up Wrap'll surely suck.
A good trucker has a big Thermos for quenchin' his thirst,
I guess I should have mentioned pourin' a cup of coffee first,
Cause, it's real hard to take the Thermos cap off, set it up,
unscrew the cork with your teeth, and pour into that cup'
When you've got a sandwich problem in your hand to overcome.
I know you've got extra steering hand fingers, and a thumb,
but between drivin' and pourin', your mind's spread too thin,
So, deep in your sandwich is where your thumb has been.
Your sandwich's digressing into bread with and open slash,
and mayonnaise with red stuff is dripping down the dash.
Kiss that morsel good-bye and maybe unwrap another one,
Oh, take a swig of coffee first, before the next sandwich fun.

That's all for today, that's half of it.

Last edited by MercuryMac; 10-19-2021 at 01:36 PM.
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Old Yesterday, 01:00 PM
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MercuryMac MercuryMac is online now
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Location: Northern Alberta, Canada.
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When you're ready to wolf down your food or at least to try
An ad comes over the radio that's many decibels too high.
Your hand involuntarily streaks up to make that noise stop
the forgotten sandwich'll stick to the ceiling, n' then drop
and bounce off the gearshift, smearing it with yukky goo
only to land butter-side-down, right on your gas pedal shoe.
You try for a drink again, 'cause your luck is not holdin' up
and your cooling coffee is bouncing on the dash in the cup.
Now one hand is free,--- the upside of finishing your drink
So you throw the used Saran Wrap out, -- it's gone you think
But the wind caught the plastic and Boy the disgust you felt,
when you watched it wrap around the exhaust pipe 'n' melt.
Shaking your head in grief, you let some choice words fly,
Until a little can of chocolate pudding catches your eye.
You snatch it up and hold it in your left index and thumb,
while steering with your left pinky, though that sound kinda' dumb,
This frees up your right index to pull up that wee tin loop
that will rip off the lid, exposing the brown coloured goop.
About half the time, the loop will just break off the tin,
Leaving you, a sealed can and the pudding still within.
You may not get desert now, the luck you're havin' today,
Try to slip that loop off your finger, while cursing away.
And plan how you're going to get that damn lid off now.
Luckily, you've brought a steel spoon with ya, that's how.
You'll stab down around the lid and pry it up, exposin' goo.
But, if you have to steer in mid thrust, --the spoon'll hit you,
The good of a steel spoon goes south, when aim is 'lacked',
Your hand may be bleeding some before you get tin contact,
and wouldn't you know it, you've hit the centre of the lid
forcing it straight down in the can and you wished you'da' hid
'cause chocolate pudding was sprayed all over the place,
on the windows, ceiling, your shirt, your hair and your face.
All you have to do now, that lunch is so -- over at last,
Is, with your bleedin' hand, roll down your chocolaty glass
and chuck out the empty pudding tin while looking grim.
Lunch, is over now O.K., Let that be a lesson to you, Slim.
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Old Yesterday, 08:56 PM
bob w bob w is offline
Still crazy after all these years!
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Stillwater, MN
Posts: 11,465

You did it Mac! The frustrations of life in a truck, You captured the emotions well.
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