What would you do?

[Willowbilly3]

Ok, so I have this, well, friend. I thought. Mostly he is the kind of person that has friends who do stuff or get him good deals. Not a problem, I have known them for a couple years now, do a litle wrenching for them. So he has this 19 year old Forrest Gump home schooled kid. The kid likes trucks and has 5-6 old beater 4x4s and I have helped him on them some too.
Now last week said friend asks me if I can give him a ride to the airport on Sat. Morning. It's half a day deal but I don't have anything else going so I said yes. He said we can use his car and leave it here until he gets back, no problem. He mentions something that the kid will stay in town. He often does stay in with his friends or cousins so I figured one of them. Well skip to the chase, village idiot kid is along, no biggy. Then on the way home from the airport I ask the kid where I need to drop him off and he says "I'm staying with you". Whoa, hold ther phone, your dad is going to be gone 5-6 days and nobody thought they should ask me if you can stay? Well He's still here, annoying the **** out of me and I still don't have words to tell his dad what kind of bull**** I think this is. Feel free to disagree or not. What would you do? I was thinking bill him for unanoouced babysitting of a special needs kid at about $200 a day.

 

[bob w]

I'd list him on Craigslist and see what I could get for him.

 

[Sam_Fear]

Well, first is the kid the one BS'ing you? Anyway, I'd first ask the Dad VERY pleasantly and politely why he thought it was OK to leave his kid with you. As in did he 'misinterpret' something you said. Just to let him stammer on about it a bit then let him know how life works.

Basically your choices are to let him know he is no friend, cut ties, and cut losses or figure a way to get payback (as in green, not revenge) - how far you go is up to you.

I doubt the bill idea would ever get paid though.

Me, I'd probably tell him to take his kid, get off my property, don't come back. The end.

Oh, either way, don't forget to let the whole community know what BS he pulled.

 

[Willowbilly3]

Well, first is the kid the one BS'ing you? Anyway, I'd first ask the Dad VERY pleasantly and politely why he thought it was OK to leave his kid with you. As in did he 'misinterpret' something you said. Just to let him stammer on about it a bit then let him know how life works.

Basically your choices are to let him know he is no friend, cut ties, and cut losses or figure a way to get payback (as in green, not revenge) - how far you go is up to you.

I doubt the bill idea would ever get paid though.

Me, I'd probably tell him to take his kid, get off my property, don't come back. The end.

Oh, either way, don't forget to let the whole community know what BS he pulled.

Pretty much what I was thinking. I'm not into revenge or retaliation and no I don't figure he would pay such a bill either.

 

[Bonehead]

Contact Dad and ask where you are supposed to drop the kid off?
If that doesn't work, do your best to get through the next few days. Life is short. After this, pick better friends.

 

[tiny1]

That sounds like i a movie i seen once the dad tricked his buddy into keeping the kid and never came back hope that doesn't happen to you

 

[ANNAMEL]

" It takes a village to raise a child" I know he is 19 but you say he has some problems. 5 days of your life to help someone for whatever reason. I've done more for strangers. Just my thoughts.

 

[Tripper]

Fone home!!!

WB,
Dude... I'd be on the phone to old Dad 1st thing & tell him this ain't gonna work out!!! He has family in town... right!?!?

BoB

 

[cycledog]

Looks to me like you have the opportunity to make the best out of an awkward situation. Here's a chance to make a positive impact on someone's life. Showing kindness to this kid is not a bad thing. We all do things to and for people that we have no idea what kind of impact it may have, positive or negative. Who knows maybe years from now he may see you on the street and thank you for what you did and tell you it was one of the best weeks of his life. I thinks its a chance worth taking. But that just me. Besides, the more you stew about it the more upset you become.

And just for the record I'm all for home schooling. Both of my son's were home schooled, the oldest is a lead tech for a Kia dealership and the youngest is in med school.

 

[Willowbilly3]

Looks to me like you have the opportunity to make the best out of an awkward situation. Here's a chance to make a positive impact on someone's life. Showing kindness to this kid is not a bad thing. We all do things to and for people that we have no idea what kind of impact it may have, positive or negative. Who knows maybe years from now he may see you on the street and thank you for what you did and tell you it was one of the best weeks of his life. I thinks its a chance worth taking. But that just me. Besides, the more you stew about it the more upset you become.

And just for the record I'm all for home schooling. Both of my son's were home schooled, the oldest is a lead tech for a Kia dealership and the youngest is in med school.

I do have to agree. Everything happens for a reason and I decided to just make the best of this and try to have a positive impact on the kid. I am more trying to figure out how to tell his dad how I feel about being taken advantage of. I am not the type to burn bridges, but I might make an exception here.

 

[moronthethrottle]

tough situation!

Not everyone is blessed with the gift to care for such special needs people. Even most, if not all, parents of such kids do not believe they have the ability when they first learn of their condition. They have many years to learn about and from their child. Because it is their child, they do it out of love and manage to cope with the challenges. Later in life they look back and can't imagine having it any other way.

You are not them and this is a totally different situation! Cycledog is right that this could be a good opportunity for you, but it certainly won't be easy.

Let's look at this from another perspective; a special needs 19 year old probably acts more like a, what 7-9 year old kid(?). Would any of you just dump off your first grader with someone you are only a casual friend of...especially without discussing or asking him first? Major party foul on the part of the parent here! I'd say don't take it out on the kid though. Have a nice talk with papa Gump when he gets back. Don't be too big of a jerk, just let him know that it is considered a common courtesy to ask and make proper arrangements before pawning off rain man to unprepared innocent bystanders!

Wow, maybe we need to start a Dear Abby sub-forum!

 

[Sniper]

I wasn't going to reply to this post, but here I go anyway. First thing I would want to determine, just who is blowin smoke up my butt, the kid, or dear ol dad. If the kid picked you out of the crowd because your 'much cooler and fun to be around', it shows he is a 'Clever dufus, that can manipulate.' Also, if the kid was supposed to stay with some else, I'll bet they wonder where he is, and who have they got searching for him by now? On the other hand, if dear ol dad is behind this, you do need to confront him. How, will be up to you and what you feel comfortable with. As far as billing Dad with room and board, by all means yes. It makes a statement if nothing else. If he doesn't pay it, so what. As long as he owes you, or even thinks he owes you, he will avoid you like the plague. Future problems solved. If he still wants something in the future, and hasn't paid 'the bill', then it's 'sorry, I can't do that, we still have the other issue to deal with'. I would contact the local police and inform them what went on, if they are looking for him, they can take over. You just covered your butt. Because at this point, the Clever dufus could pull a real number on you!! Besides, if Dad is behind this, the police just might want to have a chat with him. Can you say 'abandonment'. Either way can go so wrong for you. You need to cover your own butt just in case. My opinon. Sniper

 

[likes_2_tinker]

i guess if your stuck with him he is young enuff shall we say strong back week mind get some work out of him

maby a coupple of days of work might turn him for the better

 

[Sam_Fear]

I vote for Sniper's answer. It pretty much covers everything and doesn't let anyone off the hook. For clarity, it sounds like this kid isn't really 'special needs', just a bit simple. Heck, my neighbor fits that category and he had a roofing business (had). And I agree, you have a chance to teach this kid what respect and right is.

I wasn't going to reply to this post, but here I go anyway. First thing I would want to determine, just who is blowin smoke up my butt, the kid, or dear ol dad. If the kid picked you out of the crowd because your 'much cooler and fun to be around', it shows he is a 'Clever dufus, that can manipulate.' Also, if the kid was supposed to stay with some else, I'll bet they wonder where he is, and who have they got searching for him by now? On the other hand, if dear ol dad is behind this, you do need to confront him. How, will be up to you and what you feel comfortable with. As far as billing Dad with room and board, by all means yes. It makes a statement if nothing else. If he doesn't pay it, so what. As long as he owes you, or even thinks he owes you, he will avoid you like the plague. Future problems solved. If he still wants something in the future, and hasn't paid 'the bill', then it's 'sorry, I can't do that, we still have the other issue to deal with'. I would contact the local police and inform them what went on, if they are looking for him, they can take over. You just covered your butt. Because at this point, the Clever dufus could pull a real number on you!! Besides, if Dad is behind this, the police just might want to have a chat with him. Can you say 'abandonment'. Either way can go so wrong for you. You need to cover your own butt just in case. My opinon. Sniper

 

[Willowbilly3]

Well, papa rolled in and picked up junior today, acted like it was all an arranged deal, like "Well did you get enough work out of him to make his keep?" I answered "hardly". I was on my way out and my ride was here so I just left. I still plan to confront him but didn't want to do it mad. Sad part is the kid really isn't that slow, they just raised him to be and they let him fill his head with trash, then he's lazy and selfish and used to someone else doing all his thinking so he just thinks about himself. He is/could be a perfectly capable person. I was going to work him but I got to thinking they didn't even leave me the name of his doctor or what to do in case of emergency.

 

[ANNAMEL]

Not thats funny. Glad your back to your regular routine. Your a good man forest.

 

[CR55]

Willow, you sound like a good guy to do what you did. I have a great deal of respect for someone who can do what you did. You had every right to be mad, but you show big signs of patience to wait until you aren't mad to confront dad. I "had" friends like that at one time. Took them on vacation with us to a carribbean resort. Every time I looked they were leaving their 4 year old by himself around a lot of people. I felt it was my responsibility to watch the tike even though it took away from my vacation. Just because the parents are as******s you don't have to be . My hats off to you for standing up. Not the kids fault!...........CR

 

[earthman]

W/Billy now in my advanced years i ask myself why did this event happen,
what am i learning. I believe we choose the lives we have for the life lessons they provide. I commend you for dignity and restraint in your handling of the matter. I have said it before, thank you for including us in the events of your personal life. You honor us.

 

[Willowbilly3]

I had the kid's Bronco here. He had the spark plug wires messed up and they hauled it here for me to straighten out, another whole story but anyway I came home today and they were towing it away. I am working in my garden and they stop, roll down the window so I go up to talk. Pops asks if I was still mad and I indicated I was a little put out by the whole deal. Turns out that dad thought junior was staying at his friends house and never told his pop he was here, had phone conversations a few times with pops and was like everything is fine.
Anyway, it's over and behind me. I'd rather look out the windshield than watch the rear view mirror, much better scenery.

 

[CR55]

Lets see, if I was a kid, would I spend the night at my buddies house with "grown-up" rules or would I stay at the local hotrodders house? Tough choice for a teenage maybe gearhead.............CR