What is this called?

[maddog]

If RRR gives awards for off topic posts, this one will win it.

What do you call it when someone does stuff like, talks too much, doesnt listen, stands too close (ya know in your personal space), doesnt pick up on the signals in communication, ties you up too long when your at work not picking up on the cues that you must go, and things like that.

You all know someone like that. Many times nice people but when you see them coming you go the other way.

I need to talk to this person about this and I dont know what this behavior is called. Social graces? I dont know but it must have a name.

You guys know everything else, so I figured you would know this one.

I told you it was off topic but who else can I talk to?

Thanks

 

[R Pope]

Sounds female to me.
No, seriously, there isn't a whole lot you can do, behaviour patterns are set by the time we reach the work force, and talking isn't going to change them. You'll just **** the guy off, and he'll start dis'ing you to everyone who'll listen. Just smile, nod, and wander away.

 

[donsrods]

I've got a good friend who has some of those traits. I think the world of him, and he and his wife helped pull me through my divorce by having me over for dinner often, and just generally making sure I was ok. But he has a terrible habit of visiting me at work (he's a musician and has all day free) and just hanging out and bs-ing. I've heard the stories 100 times each, and I when I was working I felt sheepish because I had work to do.

I even threw hints that "the bosses were looking at me, I better get back to work", but it goes right over his head. Normally I don't have a problem being frank with someone, but I feel bad saying anything to him because he is such a nice guy. When I find another job I'm not going to tell him where I work.

Don

 

[Bonehead]

I know that guy. The lack of social skills means one more thing, They don't know how YOU are supposed to act either. I have found it is best to teach them what you expect by just telling them. A little at a time, and in a nice way. But make it clear. Each person is different, but if you can let them know how you expect this relationship to work, they will try hard because they need friends. My.02

 

[cycledog]

I would call it a cry for attention. Sienfeld had a episode on close talkers.
Maybe its a case of attentiondeficitcolsetalkinglookatmeitis.

Theres a guy at work that will ask a question and then not listen to the answer and wonder why what he did was wrong.

 

[eyesore]

That kills me!

Theres a guy at work that will ask a question and then not listen to the answer and wonder why what he did was wrong.

Cycledog,
Those are the ones that kill me! We have someone at work like that. He asks for advice and then does the exact opposite and then wonders what went wrong! I'm always wondering why he even bothers asking!

Isore

 

[roddguy]

I've got a good friend who has some of those traits. I think the world of him, and he and his wife helped pull me through my divorce by having me over for dinner often, and just generally making sure I was ok. But he has a terrible habit of visiting me at work (he's a musician and has all day free) and just hanging out and bs-ing. I've heard the stories 100 times each, and I when I was working I felt sheepish because I had work to do.

I even threw hints that "the bosses were looking at me, I better get back to work", but it goes right over his head. Normally I don't have a problem being frank with someone, but I feel bad saying anything to him because he is such a nice guy. When I find another job I'm not going to tell him where I work.

Don

Don I know exactly how you feel. I've read alot of your posts and you seem to come across as a very nice guy. Unfortunately there just is no easy answer here. You simple have to tell him straight up, but at the same time not nasty.
Also, sorry I don't know what this behaviour is called.
Good luck

Randy

 

[Lakota]

It's called Grandiose Behavior or Illusions of Grandeur. The person believes that he is the most important person in the room. Everything he says is a profound revelation. He will ignore your statements because he feels that since you work for someone that you are sub-serviant. He has vast knowledge on key points of any subject, yet has little or no basic education. He will hang out in college coffee shops and hangouts, evesdropping on other conversations to pick up knowledge. He will take advantage of any situation. If you give him two minutes of your time, he will take over and occupy all of your time. The traits go on and on.
I have my own way of dealing with these people. In a public place (usually crowded), in a loud voice, I say things like:

UMMM...Did you step in something?
That's a terrible thing to say about women!
Excuse me, but we don't like hearing the "N" word!
Please!!! Just because he's Italian, it doesn't mean he's a gangster!
NO!!! That woman over there is not dressed like a prostitute!

After a statement like this, they're looking for the exit.

 

[joehalford01]

i've always found that letting them talk while going about your business works out great. they don't even realize your ignoring them, and if they do they usually leave.

 

[gassersgarage]

There's a guy at work. Use to be an avid bicyclist. One day, he endo'd and landed on his head. Brain swelled so they had to remove part of it. Since that time, he's weird. He will engage you in a conversation, but he starts in the middle so you don't know what he talking about. I just smile and nod, then walk away. Other people at work will start talking when they see him coming and won't let him get a word in edgewise.
He's a nice guy and no one has the heart to tell him what he's doing to everyone since his accident. However, the accident did have one beneficial effect. He never forgets anything. Names, places, birthdays, addresses, anything, even years after the fact.