Why I miss Rodney Dangerfield.

[donsrods]

Why I miss Rodney Dangerfield..........

Because he said ....

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'


My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.

MY FAVORITE:

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

 

[CR55]

Good ones Don! He was my favorite comedian...made me laugh just looking art him because you knew something funny was coming out of his mouth....the world is a sadder place now that he is gone!....cr

 

[Charley Davidson]

You need to go over to the FMB Moose lodge, there is a guy that hangs out there all the time that looks just like Rodney and can do all of his stuff to a T

I also have a personal friend from Poplar Bluff, Ms. that looks like Rodney and up until last year his campground in Sturgis was called "Mount Rodney" he does some great Rodney impersonations also. He has a Rodney Dangerfield themed motorcycle.

 

[hotrod preacher]

"i get no respect.....no respect...."


awful funny man......

thanks for the giggles don & you too rodney...[cl[cl

 

[Charley Davidson]

"I tell the cab driver, Take me to where all the action is, He takes me to my house"

 

[skull]

more

my wife gets picked up so often she grew handle.

my wife bought a new towel set, hers & theres.


the only words my parrot knows is ''quick out the window, my husbands home''.

and my fav,

l call my wife fedex, 'couse anytime she goes somewhere, she positivly absolutly has to be there overnight[ddev

Later

 

[Bonehead]

Funny stuff.

 

[earthman]

Rodney in Caddyshack!

 

[phillip-r-s]

"You know the worst part of oral sex...the view"

 

[gassersgarage]

Kinda Rodney Dangerfield, but it was said by my Mother when she introduced my brother and I to new people. She would point at my older brother and say, "He's the first born. He's the good looking one". Then she'd point to me and said, "He's are second born...".

Funny, I must have been 3 or 4 but I never forgot it.