Endless BS thread
- Thread starter Bonehead
- Start date
Help Support Rat Rods Rule:
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
A case of high tech coming on too suddenly for the local culture in my estimation.
Dirtyrat
Got Fins?
Wow, brilliant!
Got Rust?
Well-known member
somebody needs to run to Home repo and buy a few bags of quick crete.
05snopro440
Well-known member
Wow, that's ridiculous. If patio pavers sink and go uneven regularly, I don't imagine they're very well suited under a 737.
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
A Florida couple, both well into their 70's, goes to a Sex Therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.'He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again.
The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'
The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and best of all.... Medicare pays $43 of it, so our co-pay is only $7.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.'He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again.
The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'
The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and best of all.... Medicare pays $43 of it, so our co-pay is only $7.
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket.
As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no."
The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long."
He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry.
The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out."
The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today.
The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen."
The mother broke in, "My little girl's name is Tammy. I'm Ellen."
As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no."
The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long."
He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry.
The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out."
The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today.
The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen."
The mother broke in, "My little girl's name is Tammy. I'm Ellen."
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Ken would say, 'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'
Edna always replied, 'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said, 'Edna, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Edna replied, "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Ken replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"'
Edna always replied, 'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said, 'Edna, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Edna replied, "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Ken replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"'
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
"No," the woman replied, " I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
"No," the woman replied, " I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
8literbeater
Well-known member
blacksheep
Well-known member
Hahaha. I have a small dog that acts like this. Even when I come home. Except once I walk through the door, she rolls over on her back waiting for belly scratching.
kenny c
Well-known member
Venting about customers.
Just venting. Has anyone had a customer wanting something built and you tell them it would be cheaper to buy one new . then insist on you building one that has to be designed and kind of prototyped and then a jig built for with my material. this is an item you can buy for $1800 and he has about $500 of materials in and I have $ 10000 in labor in so far. It's all tacked together and needs about another $ 200 in welding to finish and he only wants to spend $1000. Oh and my labor rate for welding is between $20 and $35 an hour less than average around here.
Just venting. Has anyone had a customer wanting something built and you tell them it would be cheaper to buy one new . then insist on you building one that has to be designed and kind of prototyped and then a jig built for with my material. this is an item you can buy for $1800 and he has about $500 of materials in and I have $ 10000 in labor in so far. It's all tacked together and needs about another $ 200 in welding to finish and he only wants to spend $1000. Oh and my labor rate for welding is between $20 and $35 an hour less than average around here.
Yankee Transplant
He started out with nothing, he still has most of
You must have mis-understood him ...... he meant to say build this $1800 item for me and I'll give you $1000 total OK ??????
OH , and hurry up
OH , and hurry upkenny c
Well-known member
Yeah and I can't pay you for six months and you know that truck I dropped off in your yard two years ago when can you take that apart for me and can I work on my bobcat in your garage because mine is full of unfinished projects.
I-R-POPS
''Rusty Mopar Slacker''
It took a lot of years and abuse before I learned to say no. Now it's easy
since I retired and I don't even care when they get mad when I do.
Life is good when you're in your own little world.
Don't let them get you down.
since I retired and I don't even care when they get mad when I do.
Life is good when you're in your own little world.
Don't let them get you down.
Dr Crankenstein
Rocket Surgeon
This "customer" is a liability. Cut him off clean.
.
.
kenny c
Well-known member
thanks for the comments guys. this guy is the next door neighbor and a friend, the reason the bobcat is at my place is so he will finish it and won't be borrowing my payloader so so often. we discussed it tonight and things are better. My problem is I'm too nice of a guy and end up hurting myself. I am getting better at standing up for myself. I'll make up for it in trade for something sooner or later. thanks again.
Nice guys finish last. My buddy Eric is a saint and people crap on him constantly. It feels good to say no. Try it. It took a while to realize, favors and trades never benefit the higher skilled of the two.
I once had a lady that offered me coupons as trade for concrete work. She ran some paper in town and had 2 for 1 deals and half off coupons. I told her to pay me what I quoted and I'd eat anywhere I wanted.
No deals or trades.
I once had a lady that offered me coupons as trade for concrete work. She ran some paper in town and had 2 for 1 deals and half off coupons. I told her to pay me what I quoted and I'd eat anywhere I wanted.
No deals or trades.
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