CR55
It's just a little surface rust!
Found this on another site, thought you might enjoy this
• For those who have ever used a Haynes repair manual...
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles!
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with vice grips then beat repeatedly with hammer, anticlockwise
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell!
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a can of WD40 (catering size).
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly took my eye out"!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing them re-check the manual because this can not be 'lightly' what you are doing now.
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!
Haynes: One wrench rating.
Translation: Your Mom could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?
Haynes: Two wrench rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, 'ikkle number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three wrench rating.
Translation: But Nova's are easy to maintain right... right? So you think three Nova wrenches have got to be like a 'regular car' two wrench job.
Haynes: Four wrench rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you plebe!
Haynes: Five wrench rating.
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride in it afterwards!!!
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search in the dark corner of the garage for whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Pry away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable punch!
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an AAA Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Haynes Manuals are a copyright of a very disturbed sadist
• For those who have ever used a Haynes repair manual...
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles!
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with vice grips then beat repeatedly with hammer, anticlockwise
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell!
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a can of WD40 (catering size).
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly took my eye out"!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing them re-check the manual because this can not be 'lightly' what you are doing now.
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!
Haynes: One wrench rating.
Translation: Your Mom could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?
Haynes: Two wrench rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, 'ikkle number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three wrench rating.
Translation: But Nova's are easy to maintain right... right? So you think three Nova wrenches have got to be like a 'regular car' two wrench job.
Haynes: Four wrench rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you plebe!
Haynes: Five wrench rating.
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride in it afterwards!!!
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search in the dark corner of the garage for whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Pry away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable punch!
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an AAA Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Haynes Manuals are a copyright of a very disturbed sadist
