Dudes... would you *ever* admit this?!?

[lampare]

admit

I cant find a metric adjustable wrench???[S[S[S

 

[eyesore]

I cant find a metric adjustable wrench???[S[S[S

Last time I saw one was at Harbour Freight! [ddd

ISore

 

[moparcowboy]

years ago a lady came in to our gas staiton and asked me how much it would cost to change the antifreeze in her VW ( air cooled) and before I could answer she said to figure in the cost of changing the air in her tires also.

 

[pacrat]

ball joints too high

years ago i worked in a small town garage owned and operated by a guy who had been a mechanic for several years, his son ( about 18 at the time) came in one day and said he had just come from trying to get the frontend aligned on his car, he said they couldnt align it because the ball joints were too high, yep, it needed lower ball joints.............

 

[HOT40ROD]

Years ago the neighbor bought a new car and went out and bought new snow tires are put them on the back of the car. Every time it would snow he would get stuck and was mad. He would till everyone that these tires were junk. Here the car was front wheel drive.

 

[donsrods]

I've told this story before, but many years ago I was in the copy machine business and copiers at that time used a liquid ink, called toner. We had girls working the phones selling our toners, and one time a girl called a customer we had sold some toner to, trying to get a reorder. The lady told her they were not pleased with the quality of the product as the copies got lighter as time went on. Our girl explained that periodically you have to shake the toner to keep the solids in suspension, and to try that. So she held on while the lady went back to try that remedy.

A little bit later the lady came back on the phone, out of breath, and said she got a fellow worker to help her to shake the toner, but "that copy machine is really heavy." Our salesgirl fell on the floor laughing, and then explained to the lady you take the toner bottle out of the machine and shake it, YOU DON"T PICK UP THE WHOLE COPIER AND SHAKE IT!!!!!!! [cl

I still have that image in my head, two people picking up a hundred pound copier and shaking it all around!

Don

 

[HOT40ROD]

This one happen to me. I had to go to the bathroom real bad one day while I was on the road. We found a mcdonalds and my girlfriend and I went inside so I could us the bathroom. Well at that time I real had to go so I ran to the bathroom got inside and could not find the urinals. So I just hit a stall. After finishing I washed my hand and notice a tampon machine on the wall and was wonder why they would put on in the Mens bathroom. As I walked out still wondering why, I seen my girlfriend standing there with a smile on her face.

I looked at her an said "that is the strangest bathroom I ever been in. It has no urinals and a tampon machine." Well she lost it. then I looked back and seen women's on the door.

 

[pistolpete]

My aunt, married to a mechanic at the chevy dealership, actually thought you were supposed to grease the brakes when they started squeeking.

A friend of mine was in a bind financially and needed a brake job bad on his Mazda truck. So I said bring it over we'll go get the parts and get it fixed up. So next day he calls me and tells me the brakes work fine, but they squeek a bit, and a guy at work was telling him he had to grease the pads so they wouldnt squeek. Ended up in a bit of a heated conversation as the guy from his work was an automotive engineer... Needless to say he didnt grease his brakes after it was said and done.

 

[donsrods]

This one happen to me. I had to go to the bathroom real bad one day while I was on the road. We found a mcdonalds and my girlfriend and I went inside so I could us the bathroom. Well at that time I real had to go so I ran to the bathroom got inside and could not find the urinals. So I just hit a stall. After finishing I washed my hand and notice a tampon machine on the wall and was wonder why they would put on in the Mens bathroom. As I walked out still wondering why, I seen my girlfriend standing there with a smile on her face.

I looked at her an said "that is the strangest bathroom I ever been in. It has no urinals and a tampon machine." Well she lost it. then I looked back and seen women's on the door.

Hehe, I did EXACTLY that same thing. Ate at a restaurant one night and went to the bathroom. When I walked in everything looked unfamiliar to me, not urinals, and those strange machines on the wall. OH, S***, I'M IN THE LADIES ROOM!!!!!!!! Just then I heard the toilet flush and a lady opened the stall door and exited. I made some hurried excuse and ran out the door.

All through the meal she and her husband sat at another table staring at me like I was some kind of perv. Now I really read the door very carefully before entering, but the cutsie ones where they put Hombre, and Seniorita, or Blokes and stuff like that still confuse me for a few minutes.

Don

 

[Willowbilly3]

I intentionally use the wrong one when they use cutsie names.

 

[Dobber]

My engine quit running, and won't turn over do you think my Piston Return Spring broke.

PS I lost my left handed screwdriver has anone seen it.

 

[Sam_Fear]

We have a pallet of Diesel Exhaust Fluid at work. I chuckle every time I see it.

I guess the new diesels have exhaust bearings that need to stay lubed.

 

[Gearhead10]

At the shop where I work there was this younger lady that came in several yrs ago and said her car wasn't runnin right. I looked at it and yea it needed a tune up. I went into the office and told her that her engine was missing and she needed a tune up. She looked at me in bewilderment and said "my engine is missing?, where did it go". Some people have no clue.

 

[Neverdone]

I cant find a metric adjustable wrench???[S[S[S

I actually got my buddy from work with this one. Sent him into the shop to get my metric adjustable wrench. A few minutes later he came back empty handed. And then it dawned on him..........

After that I insisted that we needed to go adjust the piston pull back springs on his car and it would give him at least 20-30 more HP..... He is still trying to figure that one out.

 

[paultheblacksmith]

greasy nipples

my dumb ass brother was proud as punch for greasing his front suspension of his charger. sure he was quick and accurate, but i had to tell him that the gun had to go on the nipple. sorrta like sex, male-female. i laughed for about 20 min. bytw he used an entire tube on the outside of all the nipples.

 

[toms26t]

Sounds like this guy I know who built himself a barn. He kept having to go buy nails. The hardware guy asked why he was using so many nails, and he said they were backwards. Hardware guy looked him in the face and said!

Dummy. the other ones are to be used on the inside!!!!!!!!

 

[oldskool]

Ok, I got one that happened to me monday at work(hotrod preacher dont tell them where I work, you can probably guess who did this.) This fellow worker knows everything and has done it all....well monday we sold a battery and being the "nice" guy he is he was going to punch out the date on the top(for warranty purpose mind you...) as the date being sold as Jan 2011. I watched him get his handy pocket knife out and punch out jan, then proceeded to scratch an "11" on it. Asking him why he is doing that his response was that there is not 11 it only has 0-9 Of course I had to express may vast knowledge as a brain surgeon and part time rocket scientist and told him "why dont you just punch out the 1" He explained it would be to confusing for the next guy.(like it would be a 2001 battery under warranty? 10 years old....they are not that good)
I shook my head in shame and walked away.

 

[phillip-r-s]

we live close to an amish community (horse and buggy). my wife and i are driving down a gravel road and my wife sees an open air grain bin full of corn still on the cob. She goes "look at all of that corn" to which i reply "well their tractors run on it" then she with her head cocked to the side says "ethanol" i laughed said "yes, horses run on a form of ethanol"

 

[Willowbilly3]

710 slippery stuff.

Yeah, don't even think of putting any 709 in there or you will really mess things up.

When we used rotate the customers tires, I thought it meant take the car out and drive around for a couple hours. No wonder they were upset at getting charged 2 hours labor and finding the gas tank empty.

 

[kzoldman]

I handle the small tool repair for a large company. I had a 5" random orbital sander dropped off one day by a manager with a tag written very plainly that read, "will not ovulate." [S