Country Misfit
I tell you... I get no respect!
Those are great !
Endless BS thread
- Thread starter Bonehead
- Start date
Help Support Rat Rods Rule:
8literbeater
Well-known member
Googling "ford cammer" is not a good plan for starting a productive day at the office.
Take it from me. You've been warned.
Take it from me. You've been warned.
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting home bound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.
The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, 'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.
The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, 'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God saw that it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw that it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed that it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God saw that it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw that it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed that it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
Jim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your golf clubs."
Jim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
”For a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
”I wasn't!“
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your golf clubs."
Jim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
”For a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
”I wasn't!“
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The little boy had been looking out of the window. He turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother couldn't think of an answer. She told her son to ask the flight attendant.
The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy replied,
"Yes, she did."
"Well," said the flight attendant, "you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
The little boy had been looking out of the window. He turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother couldn't think of an answer. She told her son to ask the flight attendant.
The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy replied,
"Yes, she did."
"Well," said the flight attendant, "you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
THANKS Mav, you just made my day a little brighter.......[cl[cl[cl
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
Funny stuff Mav! Thank you
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.
He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degrees west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."
He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degrees west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."
26Troadster
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 22, 2007
- Messages
- 4,078
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
Haaaaa! Excellent 26! [cl[cl
8literbeater
Well-known member
How do people come up with these prices? [S
https://phoenix.craigslist.org/nph/cto/4988602758.html
1931 Ford Hi-Boy Street Rod Roadster - $17500 (Northeast Phoenix)
condition: project car ran/drove in 12/91.
1931 Ford Hi-Boy Street Rod Roadster project car. Laser straight 4-owner Henry Ford steel car with rumble seat. 153 cubic inch 4-cylinder Chevy Iron Duke motor rebuilt by King Balancing in Glendale, 4-speed transmission, 1965 Corvette independent rear suspension with disc brakes. Opel GT independent front suspension with Triumph rack and pinion steering and AMC disc brakes. GM tilt wheel steering column with 3-spoke Grant steering wheel. Chrome chopped windshield frame with grey tinted safety glass windshield. 1940 Ford dashboard. 1939 Ford taillights. King Bee headlights. 1932 Ford shaved original grill shell with original insert. Aluminum top bows. Ron Francis wiring kit (in ball in car). Car needs paint job (was black), and interior (have old maroon naugahyde seat cushions and rumble seat cushions). Chassis and suspension are black Imron. Car ran when parked, in my garage, in December of 1991. Asking $17,500. Trades are doubtful (see Craigslist ads for my T-Bucket and P/U).
https://phoenix.craigslist.org/nph/cto/4988602758.html
1931 Ford Hi-Boy Street Rod Roadster - $17500 (Northeast Phoenix)
condition: project car ran/drove in 12/91.
1931 Ford Hi-Boy Street Rod Roadster project car. Laser straight 4-owner Henry Ford steel car with rumble seat. 153 cubic inch 4-cylinder Chevy Iron Duke motor rebuilt by King Balancing in Glendale, 4-speed transmission, 1965 Corvette independent rear suspension with disc brakes. Opel GT independent front suspension with Triumph rack and pinion steering and AMC disc brakes. GM tilt wheel steering column with 3-spoke Grant steering wheel. Chrome chopped windshield frame with grey tinted safety glass windshield. 1940 Ford dashboard. 1939 Ford taillights. King Bee headlights. 1932 Ford shaved original grill shell with original insert. Aluminum top bows. Ron Francis wiring kit (in ball in car). Car needs paint job (was black), and interior (have old maroon naugahyde seat cushions and rumble seat cushions). Chassis and suspension are black Imron. Car ran when parked, in my garage, in December of 1991. Asking $17,500. Trades are doubtful (see Craigslist ads for my T-Bucket and P/U).
8literbeater
Well-known member
I was thinking the same thing.
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
Only you EMAN, only you.......
How do you explain that to the kids?
Dr Crankenstein
Rocket Surgeon
It's a mental disorder known as Dipschitzophrenia. (Symptoms include distorted vision, poor comprehension and swelling of the head.)
Another clinical example @25K... nice 2 door coupe, 355 stroker etcetera, etcetera...
http://www.kijiji.ca/v-classic-cars/edmonton/rat-rod/1067450409?enableSearchNavigationFlag=true
.
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
American Men vs Japanese Men
On average, an American man under 75 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man the same age will have sex only one or two times a year.
This is very upsetting news to most of my friends and I, as we had no idea we were Japanese.
On average, an American man under 75 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man the same age will have sex only one or two times a year.
This is very upsetting news to most of my friends and I, as we had no idea we were Japanese.
