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im here today! just logged in for first time in a while...

been separated for over 30 days now & living back with my parents for the time being
preached my last sermon this past sunday and it was a sad good bye
got papers "delivered" to me yesterday & the loving beautiful spouse who only wanted her car & freedom now wants 10,000 plus child support ...

now remember - her leaving ultimately cost me my job... so how can i pay her anything at all!?
going friday to talk to my lawyer about a counter offer...
she is still on her ADD meds as best i can tell (amphetimines) still losing weight, and still going into rage every time we try to talk, threatening cops on me & everything else...

a rough road for a guy who has tried to do what was right & has given her everything he possibly could for the last 15 years
 
Not real surprised, but still sorry to hear it HRP. You know we're here for ya if you want to vent or BS. And you don't have to worry about us blabbin' rumors to your neighbors.
 
Sorry to hear it preacher..They seem to get nerves of steel and have no shame once they get the ball rolling..Not sure I understand that, but its how it is.. Hang in there, it'll get better once things settle down..
Just be there for the kid(s) as much as possible..it tough, but its doable..

Tim
 
Yep, it'll be tough for a few more days...but you'll be fine again soon. Keep us posted when you can and feel like talking. We'll all be praying.
 
it was a sad good bye
got papers "delivered" to me yesterday & the loving beautiful spouse who only wanted her car & freedom now wants 10,000 plus child support ...

Sorry to hear it Preacher but that's what happens when they visit with a slimebag attorney. But like I always say, can't squeeze blood out of a turnip! :eek:

Beercan
 
Been thru a divorce many moons ago...33 years ago..

wasn't pretty.....my story of the trophy's and pics of my cars is true, she burned them all in the driveway....they always tell you that they only want this or that and then the attorney says "let's take em for all we can" as that is how they make more money.....

The pain will subside and things will sort themselves out and the Lord will guide you thru it all..... there is obviously another road that you have to follow..... stay focused, calm and collected..... when you have any meetings with her, have someone else there....then there can be no way she can accuse you of any wrong doings...... no matter what....keep the faith...this too shall pass..... We're (RRR) here to vent if need be...;)
 
Can't even imagine what you're goin through (still married to the first women for 41 yrs) but, here also with the rest for support.
 
Sorry to hear that things seem to be going downhill. Hopefully they will get better in a short time. As Sam said....we're here if you need to vent....feel free......cr
 
Mine was easy and it was still gut wrenching. Sorry to hear it HRP but i agree with Sgt P, have a witness present.
 
There is no easy way around the situation you are in right now, Preacher. It hurts like hell. (I'm using that in the biblical sense :)) I knew that she would get crappy on you before it was all over, they always do. Women are just plain NUTS !

I have realized one thing from living as many years as I have. We end up where we are supposed to end up, call it fate or destiny, or whatever, but life guides us. You may not see it now, but somewhere down the road you will see why this happened that it was supposed to happen.

Is there any way for you to regain your job at the Church ? Personally, I never understood why you had to give it up in the first place. It wasn't like you had commited such a terrible act that you needed to leave, YOU DID NOT WANT OR CAUSE THIS !

In the meantime, stay away from her so she can't file false charges against you. They always believe the woman, and if she says you did something guess who is going to get in trouble ? :mad: Let things calm down, communicate through your Attorneys for now, and put the kids welfare first.

Good luck, Preacher, and please keep us in the loop. We care.

Don
 
well i thought i'd mention this morning that i am scheduled to meet a lawyer for drawing up a counter-offer...:(

and she may want to go ahead n sign it if she wants out quickly[ddd

i've got all the time in the world, and she is living on borrowed money-so she wont be getting anything from me until we settle & she knows it...


i'm not wanting to be mean guys, but her idea of "fair" and mine are too far apart right now
 
It isn't being "mean" to do what is right for yourself, Preacher. I'm happy to see that you are starting to do what is right for YOU now. Up to this point you have been doing what is right for HER, like quitting your job, etc.

The thing you have to keep foremost in your mind is that you upheld your vows and were willing to do whatever it took to make the marriage work, she was not. When women do this sort of thing and want it done quickly it is because they already have plan B in place, and plan B does not include us.

I already sense a better attitude on your part and that you are starting to heal somewhat, just by the sound of your post. FANTASTIC ! [cl You are not out of the woods yet, but you are making progress. Thanks for keeping your friends on here updated.

Don
 
I'm sure it goes against the grain of who you are, but you gotta think of yourself first right now. Protect yourself as much as you can. This may be unsettling for your kids now, but Dad living in a shack for the next ten years won't do either.
 
Right is right and wrong is wrong....

You've tried your best and done everything you could think of to work this out... no man could do more....unless you hover in mid air to put your pants on, you are human....right now it's not about being mean....it's what is right and fair for both parties.....the problems arise when one or the other get vendictive and then all you can do is protect yourself... I hope you have an attorney who is truly in tune with what you want to do and what is equitable....as some try to make it as simple as possible for THEM.... Good luck HRP....God's there with ya and so are we......
 

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