That would depend on where I be when the bump occurs. At this desk there's a Model 19 S&W in 357 Mag. On the headboard of the bed there's a 45 Colt and a sawed off side by side. Over the front door is a S&W 12 ga. pump. By the back door is the 44 carbine....and others about the place...
ive have a LED torch so bright it would melt skin at 20 feet and a 4" blade . some hot rod magazines, new window winders, some LED license plate lights, a pen and some old cards...
My Son is however ready for "the Zombie Apocolypse" - shotgun, a 308 couple .22's several hunting knives of varied shape..
usually a bump in the night (in NZ ) is an earthquake, the missus either whacking me (or me her ) while sleeping, or that other thing reserved for adult forums....
I'm 45-60min away from Chicago, in a relatively nice small Sub-urban town.
Chi-Raq thug life is not an issue here.
However, a more real threat are the local nare-do-wells, fueled on crank. The cuddled, miss-understood, troubled, pampered youth. The one real threat a few years back was a 50 something redneck that had one case to many of PBR and shot a responding LEO through the front door with his AK, all hiking distance from my house. That turned into a 2 day manhunt including my neighborhood.
Fortunately, most of the commotion at night is caused by raccoons or possums in the trash