Endless BS thread

[earthman]

Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?"
Billy says, "In the car."
Paddy says, "That's the quickest way."

was in a Hotel last week and I ordered a 'wake up call'

In the morning the phone rang and this woman's voice shouted "what the **** are you doing with your life?"

 

[hotrod preacher]

yep........that's a wake up call for sure!

 

[Sam_Fear]

My daughters birthday is tomorrow. I wanna get a piñata, put a baby monitor in it, and have someone hide and scream, cry, and plead "Please stop beating me!" etc.

My wife said no?

 

[earthman]

Don't see how the hot rod hobby thrives like it does in England

 

[Bonehead]

 

[gamracer3]

My daughters birthday is tomorrow. I wanna get a piñata, put a baby monitor in it, and have someone hide and scream, cry, and plead "Please stop beating me!" etc.

My wife said no?

Sam that is just so warped but it would be funny as hell lmao

 

[rainman]

Like that floater rearend Bonehead. HaHA

 

[rockb1]

V8 monobike

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4Ym...showthread.php?t=4662&feature=player_embedded

OUCH!!!

 

[rockb1]

My daughters birthday is tomorrow. I wanna get a piñata, put a baby monitor in it, and have someone hide and scream, cry, and plead "Please stop beating me!" etc.

My wife said no?

Thats the BEST idea ever. Id do it anyway!

 

[Lightning]

I had one of those fart machines that worked by remote - I hid it under our table in our work lunch room where we hold our weekly production meetings - the look on every ones faces was fantastic - it made about 6 different fart sounds and you could control which sounds it made - from little squeekers to all out gut busters - On the average we had like three women and five guys at these meetings - you just had to watch every ones movements and hit the right button for the right sound - Some would look at the person next to them or the person accross from them - But no body said a thing, they just moved their chairs a little more than usual.

 

[rustybeercan]

But no body said a thing, they just moved their chairs a little more than usual.

Should have recorded that & made a fortune on America's Funniest Vidoes. Wish I could have been there!

Beercan

 

[chipper]

priceless....................

 

[CR55]

Thats funny!.....CR

 

[Lightning]

Should have recorded that & made a fortune on America's Funniest Vidoes. Wish I could have been there!

It was a real hard time to keep a grin off of my face - We had this really good looking 24 yr. old lady that was part of our marketing div., that was sitting right in front of the hidden fart machine and every time I would hit the squeeker button she would shift her weight to the other hip, but when I hit the long whistling squeeker, she got up from the table , excused herself and left, every one just shrugged their shoulders and continued with the discussion. But when I hit the gut buster - the head sales rep stood up and said "Good God People, That's the last time I buy Mexican food for our lunch meetings" and ended the meeting. I know, I sometimes have the mentality of a ten yr. old - but it was just so darn funny.

 

[Tripper]

But when I hit the gut buster - the head sales rep stood up and said "Good God People, That's the last time I buy Mexican food for our lunch meetings" and ended the meeting. I know, I sometimes have the mentality of a ten yr. old - but it was just so darn funny.

Dude... u are such a 10 year old... but so am I! That's way too funny!!!

BoB

 

[Lightning]

I also had this little noise machine that was the size of a pack of gum - it made all kinds of weird noises - now think back when they first came out with cell phones[the small ones, not the army radio type, I think they were called analog?], when they all sounded alike[no special ring tones] Well this little machine made dam near the same sound as the first cell phones - Everyone was real proud of their cell phone, but with a touch of a button people would be reaching for their phone and going "hello,hello,hello" then put it back in their pocket - hit the button again and "hello,hello,hello" ,then say something like G.D. phone! One guy even said a few choice words like F'N phone and threw it against the building.

 

[rockb1]

I also had this little noise machine that was the size of a pack of gum - it made all kinds of weird noises - now think back when they first came out with cell phones[the small ones, not the army radio type, I think they were called analog?], when they all sounded alike[no special ring tones] Well this little machine made dam near the same sound as the first cell phones - Everyone was real proud of their cell phone, but with a touch of a button people would be reaching for their phone and going "hello,hello,hello" then put it back in their pocket - hit the button again and "hello,hello,hello" ,then say something like G.D. phone! One guy even said a few choice words like F'N phone and threw it against the building.

now that i would love to have seen. lmao!

 

[earthman]

You are a menace to polite society Lightning That is some funny stuff

 

[cycledog]

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

 

[CR55]

OH you guys are killing me!:............CR