Well wanted to let you all know....

[sgtpontiac]

My daughter has been sentenced to 36 months to five years for her part in the robbery's with her boyfriend..... could have been 5 to 15 years.....guess we should be happy....my wife is devistated.... me, I've got mixed feelings....we tried our best to give my daughter a good life, love, education and all the help she needed to deal with the issues her birth mother gave her... Seems sometimes it isn't enough.... so...... God willin, she'll get some help while she's there, finish her education and get out with a better attitude than she had when she decided she knew more than her parents.... Love my daughter, but hate what she did.....not embarrassed about her, just sad...at least she isn't dead and she has the opportunity to fix her life....her attitude right now is positive.....I think she is remorseful for what's happened and she has been constantly apologizing to her mom and I for hurting us.... said she would understand if we walked away.... we reminded her she is our daughter and you don't walk away from your kids..... God only knows if she'll ever understand how much we love her....but parents don't stop trying....so we drive on......thanks for letting me vent....

 

[echnidna]

Sorry to hear about that Sarge but you and your wife have done it properly.
You are not the only parents who have been disappointed by wayward adult children. We can all only try to teach our kids right and wrong as they grow up. The smarties who ignore their parents teachings and advice are solely responsible for their own ills and chills.

Hopefully, as you say, she will learn by her mistakes and come out of it all a much better person. I wish you and your wife well and hope everything works out comfortably for both of you in the long run.

 

[donsrods]

That really has to hurt, and I'm sure it was nothing you or your Wife did wrong in her upbringing. Some kids just go the wrong direction for some unknown reason and they either learn from it or the don't.

It's amazing how kids from the same Parents and upbringing can turn out so different. My ex GF has 3 kids. One Son is an Airforce recruiter, the Daughter is a teacher, and the other Son is a talented cabinet maker but is hooked on crack. Same Mom, same love, same lessons, but just a different outcome.

The good thing is that she is not going to be able to hurt herself for the next few years, and may get some good out of this. All you can do is be there for her and let her try to mature and learn.

Good luck,

Don

 

[sgtpontiac]

Thanks for the thoughts....

just wish it wasn't so hard on the wife......but it will pass and we'll be able to visit when she is settled.... funny (kind of) ......I'm used to putting them into jail....not visiting........ not sure at this point how i feel about that....mixed emotions....just have to wait and see.....

 

[Snake Farm]

Sorry to hear about that Sarge but you and your wife have done it properly............... hope everything works out comfortably for both of you in the long run.

I'm with Bob, sounds like you have handled it properly........doesn't make it easy but there's nothing easy about life sometimes.
Good luck and keep that positive attitude going.

 

[hankus]

I guess we're all gonna be who we're gonna be


Got some friends that chose her road. Some regreted it, sought help and are productive members of society. Others made that mistake a career choice. Hope she didnt start a new career.

 

[ssimpala]

Hang in there Sarge. Sounds like you've got your head on right and know that it'll get better with time.

 

[Dr Crankenstein]

just wish it wasn't so hard on the wife......but it will pass and we'll be able to visit when she is settled.... funny (kind of) ......I'm used to putting them into jail....not visiting........ not sure at this point how i feel about that....mixed emotions....just have to wait and see.....

Sounds like both women need you more than ever, Sarge. Easy for me to say, but maybe the daughter will finally turn the corner if she realizes her parents are still there when you could easily turn your back and write her off. Wishful thinking perhaps, but if you have anything left to give, she could probably use it now. On the other hand, if the well is dry, it's dry, and nobody can blame you for walking away and letting her play the hand she dealt herself.

Best of luck to both you and your wife no matter how it turns out and feel free to vent continuously if necessary!

Oh, and Bob? (echnidna) your avatar drives me nuts! Makes me wipe the screen everytime!

 

[old man dave]

Sarge try to comfort your wife with the fact you did the absolute best you could. Sometimes people have to make their own mistakes to learn the life lessons you have been teaching.
My sister turned out to be a ******* and it has been eating at my mother for almost 40 years. No known reason but it happened.

 

[sneakysnake]

"Tough love" some times it just works that way even though the opportunities are given, Its still their choices and consequences.I feel your pain, have had a few rough patches with my kids.Hope it all works out.

 

[Ol Blue]

Been There

Hang in there, Sarge. My son has been out about 2 yrs now, and has turned his life around. Be supportive and visit as often as you can. She'll then know who really cares about her.

Blue

 

[skull]

like nazareth sang about ;love hurts

Later

 

[CR55]

Hang in there sarge. Maybe this is what she needs to turn her life around...just sorry its so hard on you and mom.....

 

[rainman]

Could be a blessing, what if she had gotten away with it? Where might that have led? My advice is the same as the others, love her support her and hope she learned her lesson, that's about all you can really do!
Good luck to you, your wife and most of all you're daughter!!

 

[GJunktionMike]

Could be a blessing, what if she had gotten away with it? Where might that have led? My advice is the same as the others, love her support her and hope she learned her lesson, that's about all you can really do!
Good luck to you, your wife and most of all you're daughter!!

My oldest boy was always in trouble till he got pick up one time for something he didn't do. But by the time the chages were droped, he got picked up for driving with out a license, while on bail. He almost got big house time. he didn't do a 180, but it did change his thinking a bit.

 

[Bonehead]

I have told my son, (who I am trying hard to raise right, so far so good), that he can do really good for long periods of time, and 15 minutes of bad decisions, can change his whole life.
What she has here is a great opportunity to turn things around. You may have to mention that a few thousand times.

 

[Willowbilly3]

I have a nephew here, living next door in my deceased mother's house. He just got out from about a year and 7 months of two fives back to back. You really want them to turn their life around, he talks the talk and is genuinely sincere but always falls back. I love the boy and would do anything to HELP (not enable) him but I'd bet money he ends up back in prison.
Sorry to hear about your daughter but you can't let it get you down, she made her own choices with full knowledge of the consequences.

 

[Old Iron]

Only time will tell as to her mind set and the out come of it.
I'm in with the rest of our buds here, let go all you want cause you have our entire support [P
As for you wife they have to go down a different road than we do.
As much as it tears our hearts out to see them in pain, just do what you do and support her, she'll make it too

Jim

 

[donsrods]

Raising kids has always been tough but today it is even harder. So many outside influences on them that we never had when we were kids. Drugs, the internet, violence and sex on tv, and a society that is becoming so used to killings and crime that we don't even flinch anymore when we see it happen.

I thank God every night that my two got to adulthood without any problems whatsoever, and have actually turned out with better morals and views on life than I have. Their Mom played a big part in that.

They don't come with any instruction books and all we can do is try to give them the best we can and teach them right from wrong. I was not the best kid when I was growing up and my Mom suffered for it, which I regret every day of my life. But some of us just learn later than others.

Don

 

[Sam_Fear]

Sorry to hear it Sarge. Kinda sounds like she was rebelling against Dad being a cop. Tends to happen in small towns. Cops kid is a heck raiser, but then winds up being the town cop when he grows up - old story. Unfortunate when they push it too much and fall too far over the line.

And I'm sure you realize it coulda been a lot worse as well.

She's made her bed unfortunately. Just be there for her when and if she wants a hand up - about all a parent can do.