I don't have any kids but I’ve lost family and I feel for you man. everything in life no matter what your life is... seems to be centered around passing on what you got.
when you look back and say "I didn't run around because I wanted to be available to a good woman who'd want a family, I didn't drink for them, I tried to be a better man for them"... Now what do you do?
you have to keep moving.
I don't know what it's like to lose a kid... I DO know what it's like to have been in love with a woman who in the end would rather be with a guy that beat her and cheated.
At the time I told myself It probably would not effected me so bad if she had just been hit by a bus
I know what it's like to get dumped and have someone's kids begging you to stay.
I'm sure you might be feeling like someone you wrapped your life around is gone.
I had this old crappy 73 firebird I bought with the money from selling my truck after it threw a rod.
That old car pulled me through some **** and kept me going.
I don't know how it kept going.
I used to doctor up the bad head gaskets with eggs in the radiator.
little constant necessary stuff like adjusting the points and cleaning the rust flour out of the fuel filet and scrounging for parts.
It gave me a goal and something to focus on outside of myself
My dad asked me why I wasted my money on it and all I could say to him was "you wouldn't understand"