It's hard to type a long message on my phone, so I had to wait until I got home for a decent reply.
I can honestly know how ya'll are feeling, having lost my youngest five years ago. One day they're there, the next, they're gone. Even after 5 years, there's probably not a day that goes by that I don't think of mine. You will never forget, although with time it does get some easier. Don offers some good advice, some kind of counseling can help. A church family that supports you will help, too. Sometimes you just want to be by yourself and talk about it. Sometimes you want to talk to others. All are good.
Everywhere you turn, there will be reminders. We left our son's bed unmade, just as he had left it, for three years. We closed the door to his room, leaving the light on just as he left it. We only entered the room when we absolutely had to, and then we tried not to disturb anything, leaving it just as he left it. We knew he wasn't coming back to that bedroom, but it gave us comfort anyway to leave it as he did. After three years, we were able to enter the room normally, it wasn't needed as a reminder anymore. Little things like that will help.
My wife has a hard time with it, too. Moms are closer to their kids than we Dads are, no matter how much we love them. They take things a lot harder. In our case, one of us had to remain strong to ensure things got done that had to be done, and I was the one that had to do them. I wasn't allowed the time to grieve as much as the wife, but I handle things different than her anyway. I am more of a inward person, I keep things to my self whereas she is more out going. Let her grieve, but support her as much as you can.
Skull can tell you some things, too. He said building his son's truck helped him get through the loss of his son. I have my son's 82 Ford pickup that he wanted to rat out. I haven't been able to bring myself to start working on it yet. We are getting closer though, we have been talking about getting started on it come warm weather. It will be built as he wanted it, satin black, ghost flames, etc. It will be our tribute to him. He was 20 years old and still lived at home with us. Even our dogs grieved for him, they would go to his door and just stare with their heads down.
My friend, I know the pain ya'll are suffering with. I wish I could tell you it will be gone in a few days, a few weeks, a few months, but I can't. It will always be there, even though it will get farther and farther down. Life will return to a somewhat normalcy. There will always be that empty place that can never be filled, but there will always be those wonderful memories that no one can take away from you.
If you ever want to talk to me personally, send me a PM and I'll give you my cell number.
Bobby.
