Endless BS thread
- Thread starter Bonehead
- Start date
Help Support Rat Rods Rule:
hotrod preacher
"Official RRR Chaplain"
hey Sarge....
PA41 said once "a young man was looking for a good woman, a middle aged man was looking for a good deal and an old man was looking for a good bowel movement..."
seemed to fit your "discussion" on bran muffins...lol
PA41 said once "a young man was looking for a good woman, a middle aged man was looking for a good deal and an old man was looking for a good bowel movement..."
seemed to fit your "discussion" on bran muffins...lol
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
DEAR ABBY:
'I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?'
Sam in California.
DEAR SAM:
'Register as a Republican, and run for public office.'
Abby
'I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?'
Sam in California.
DEAR SAM:
'Register as a Republican, and run for public office.'
Abby
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.
The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like 'Yes, I see,' and 'Yes, go on,' and 'I understand.'
The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "Holy crap, what happened next?"
The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like 'Yes, I see,' and 'Yes, go on,' and 'I understand.'
The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "Holy crap, what happened next?"
sgtpontiac
Older, Wiser and Still Buildin'
I like it!!!
Glad you didn't say "frankly no body really gives a crap about your bran muffins"...LOL
PA41 said once "a young man was looking for a good woman, a middle aged man was looking for a good deal and an old man was looking for a good bowel movement..."
seemed to fit your "discussion" on bran muffins...lol
Glad you didn't say "frankly no body really gives a crap about your bran muffins"...LOL
sgtpontiac
Older, Wiser and Still Buildin'
A priest, a rabbi and a Baptist minister
Walk into a bar.....no wait, baptist ministers don't drink....sorry...A Priest, a Rabbi and a Pastor...crap....I forgot where I was going with this....[S
Walk into a bar.....no wait, baptist ministers don't drink....sorry...A Priest, a Rabbi and a Pastor...crap....I forgot where I was going with this....[S
sgtpontiac
Older, Wiser and Still Buildin'
Oh Yeah......
At a recent pastor’s retreat each minister in attendance was asked the following question: “How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?” The answers were as follows.
A Presbyterian Pastor responded, “None. If God wants the bulb screwed in he is sovereign and will do it himself without human effort.”
A Charismatic Pastor replied, “None. The bulb doesn’t need to be changed. We should pray that it be healed.”
A Pentecostal Pastor said, “None. We simply need to cast out from the bulb the demon of darkness.”
The Fundamentalist Pastor stated, “None. We shouldn’t even enter the room because we need to keep ourselves separate from all darkness.”
A Baptist Pastor responded, “None. If we allow physical contact between a person and the bulb it might lead to dancing.”
The Wesleyan Minister replied, “None. If we just show the bulb its need, it already possesses the power to screw itself in.”
A Non-Denominational Pastor said, “None. We don’t want to make the bulb feel unwanted or uncomfortable.”
This poll provides one clear conclusion: it’s no wonder pastors are always in the dark. By the way.....I love my pastor and also the Rev and HRP....amen
At a recent pastor’s retreat each minister in attendance was asked the following question: “How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?” The answers were as follows.
A Presbyterian Pastor responded, “None. If God wants the bulb screwed in he is sovereign and will do it himself without human effort.”
A Charismatic Pastor replied, “None. The bulb doesn’t need to be changed. We should pray that it be healed.”
A Pentecostal Pastor said, “None. We simply need to cast out from the bulb the demon of darkness.”
The Fundamentalist Pastor stated, “None. We shouldn’t even enter the room because we need to keep ourselves separate from all darkness.”
A Baptist Pastor responded, “None. If we allow physical contact between a person and the bulb it might lead to dancing.”
The Wesleyan Minister replied, “None. If we just show the bulb its need, it already possesses the power to screw itself in.”
A Non-Denominational Pastor said, “None. We don’t want to make the bulb feel unwanted or uncomfortable.”
This poll provides one clear conclusion: it’s no wonder pastors are always in the dark. By the way.....I love my pastor and also the Rev and HRP....amen
hotrod preacher
"Official RRR Chaplain"
-would like to offer a "friendly edit" for the Baptist pastor of this....
Baptist Pastor: change a light bulb? we don't like to "change" anything around here! and besides, someones' grandpa donated that bulb!
.....i like to have fun with that stuff too....
and here is my motto= pastors are alot like mushrooms... they are kept in the dark n have crap dumped on them all the time...
(hope i didn't offend anyone...)
sgtpontiac
Older, Wiser and Still Buildin'
I like it!!!
Just funnin with ya!!! I've got a somewhat distorted sense of humor....but I do have another one.....
A preacher went to visit an eldrly woman from his church who had just had an operation. As he was sitting there talking with her, he noticed a bowl of peanuts on the stand next to the bed. He began to eat them, and soon it was time for him to leave. When he got up he noticed he had eaten all of her peanuts.
"Sister Jones,"he said" I'm sorry I ate all of your peanuts."
She replied "That's okay pastor, I already sucked all of the chocolate off of them."
Just funnin with ya!!! I've got a somewhat distorted sense of humor....but I do have another one.....
A preacher went to visit an eldrly woman from his church who had just had an operation. As he was sitting there talking with her, he noticed a bowl of peanuts on the stand next to the bed. He began to eat them, and soon it was time for him to leave. When he got up he noticed he had eaten all of her peanuts.
"Sister Jones,"he said" I'm sorry I ate all of your peanuts."
She replied "That's okay pastor, I already sucked all of the chocolate off of them."
Once I walked through the kitchen and grabbed a couple crackers to munch on. I mentioned to my wife that they kinda tasted bland. She said "Oh, those are the ones a licked the salt off of."
You what?
sgtpontiac
Older, Wiser and Still Buildin'
Yor wife and mind would probably get along fine...
They both have the same sense of humor...
They both have the same sense of humor...
sgtpontiac
Older, Wiser and Still Buildin'
Sorry Rev and HRP just one more.....
A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his “work uniform” went up to the priest and asked, “Why do you dress so funny?” The priest replied, “This is the uniform that I wear when I work.”
The child, still staring at him, asked, “Do you have a boo boo?” The priest was somewhat puzzled, but quickly figured out that the child was looking at his white and black Roman collar. The priest pulled out the white plastic insert and showed it to the child telling him that it was also part of his uniform.
On the back side of the collar there was some writing: “Wash with warm soapy water.” The priest showed this to the little boy and then asked him “Do you know what these words say?
The little boy, obviously much too young to read, stated, “I sure do.” The priest a little taken aback then replies, “OK then, tell me what they say.”
The little boy then replies, “Kills fleas and ticks for up to six months.”
A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his “work uniform” went up to the priest and asked, “Why do you dress so funny?” The priest replied, “This is the uniform that I wear when I work.”
The child, still staring at him, asked, “Do you have a boo boo?” The priest was somewhat puzzled, but quickly figured out that the child was looking at his white and black Roman collar. The priest pulled out the white plastic insert and showed it to the child telling him that it was also part of his uniform.
On the back side of the collar there was some writing: “Wash with warm soapy water.” The priest showed this to the little boy and then asked him “Do you know what these words say?
The little boy, obviously much too young to read, stated, “I sure do.” The priest a little taken aback then replies, “OK then, tell me what they say.”
The little boy then replies, “Kills fleas and ticks for up to six months.”
ilovefords
Member
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2011
- Messages
- 11
To the joke above- very funny
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
Bonehead
Skull Master
Sniper
Canadian Rust Bucket
Geez Bonehead, if there really is such a thing as a parallel universe, there has to be a yard out there just like that one. Now if we can just get to it.
Bonehead
Skull Master
A few more years, and my back yard may look like that. Especially if I don't get to building more.
Geez Bonehead, if there really is such a thing as a parallel universe, there has to be a yard out there just like that one. Now if we can just get to it.
I'm sure they are out there, I've seen them as I Google Map stuff - look at this guys collection.
Attachments
Bonehead
Skull Master
I can spot a couple of cars in there, but it looks like a bunch of junk mostly.
Bonehead
Skull Master
Here is one for sale locally
http://westslope.craigslist.org/cto/2778417500.html
http://westslope.craigslist.org/cto/2778417500.html
