Endless BS thread
- Thread starter Bonehead
- Start date
Help Support Rat Rods Rule:
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Just read this from Earthman in a build thread:
I'm thinking the next time I go to AZ, I should haul out a trailer full of barn boards and trade for some good cabs!
I'm thinking the next time I go to AZ, I should haul out a trailer full of barn boards and trade for some good cabs!
smallfoot
He's rockin' the "Nuttin Special"!
Sounds a little fishy!
A FISH TAIL
It was April 4th 44, being a quadruple leap year, I was driving downtown Atlantis, my Baracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray and it was overheating. I pulled into a Shell Station, they said I'd blown a seal. I said "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, pal".
While they were doing that I walked over to a plaice called The Oyster Bar, a real dive. But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins. I said "Hi, Gill!" (you have to yell, he's hard of herring) Gill was also down on his luck, fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water. I bellied up to the Sand Bar, he poured the usual: Rusty Grunion, shaken not stirred, with a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the mako. I slipped him a fin, on porpoise.
I was feeling good. I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids; Just for the halibut. Well, the place was crowded - we were packed in like sardines. They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal. What sole. Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna, "Sand Enchanted Evening". The stage was surrounded by screaming guppies, probably there to see the bass player.
One of them was this cute little yellowtail. She was giving me the eye, so I thought this was chance to have a little fun. Or a piece of Pisces. But she said things I just couldn't fathom. She was too deep. Seemed to be under a lot of pressure. Boy, could she drink! She drank ........ she drank a lot. I said "What's your sign?", she said "Aquarium". I said "Great! Let's get tanked!" I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait. I said "C'mon, it'll only take a few minnows". She threw me that same old line, "Not tonight - I got a haddock".
She wasn't kidding either, because just then in came in the biggest, meanest haddock I ever seen come down the pike. He was covered with mussels. He came over to me and said "Listen Shrimp! Don't you come trolling around here!" What a crab. This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him and said "Abalone! - you're just being shellfish". Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gill, because he was already on the phone to the cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, as flat as a mackerel. Kelpless. I said "Forget the cods, Gill, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon".
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me, she said "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish - what's your name?" I said "Marlin". Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner, I took her to dance, I bought her a bouquet of flounder.
A FISH TAIL
It was April 4th 44, being a quadruple leap year, I was driving downtown Atlantis, my Baracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray and it was overheating. I pulled into a Shell Station, they said I'd blown a seal. I said "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, pal".
While they were doing that I walked over to a plaice called The Oyster Bar, a real dive. But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins. I said "Hi, Gill!" (you have to yell, he's hard of herring) Gill was also down on his luck, fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water. I bellied up to the Sand Bar, he poured the usual: Rusty Grunion, shaken not stirred, with a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the mako. I slipped him a fin, on porpoise.
I was feeling good. I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids; Just for the halibut. Well, the place was crowded - we were packed in like sardines. They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal. What sole. Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna, "Sand Enchanted Evening". The stage was surrounded by screaming guppies, probably there to see the bass player.
One of them was this cute little yellowtail. She was giving me the eye, so I thought this was chance to have a little fun. Or a piece of Pisces. But she said things I just couldn't fathom. She was too deep. Seemed to be under a lot of pressure. Boy, could she drink! She drank ........ she drank a lot. I said "What's your sign?", she said "Aquarium". I said "Great! Let's get tanked!" I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait. I said "C'mon, it'll only take a few minnows". She threw me that same old line, "Not tonight - I got a haddock".
She wasn't kidding either, because just then in came in the biggest, meanest haddock I ever seen come down the pike. He was covered with mussels. He came over to me and said "Listen Shrimp! Don't you come trolling around here!" What a crab. This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him and said "Abalone! - you're just being shellfish". Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gill, because he was already on the phone to the cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, as flat as a mackerel. Kelpless. I said "Forget the cods, Gill, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon".
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me, she said "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish - what's your name?" I said "Marlin". Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner, I took her to dance, I bought her a bouquet of flounder.
sgtpontiac
Older, Wiser and Still Buildin'
I'm speechless.... ......[cl
......[clloudmouthbass
Well-known member
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2012
- Messages
- 136
bob w
Still crazy after all these years!
Good "catch",lmbass.[cl
maverickmk
Rebel Rodder
An Iowa farmer walks into a barbershop in Fort Dodge for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old farmer to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old farmer tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old farmer to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old farmer tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
Dr Crankenstein
Rocket Surgeon
.
-- musselling in,, you scaled new heights, trawling through that tail, you had me netted from start to fin-ish...
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