Endless BS thread

[Couper]

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."
The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"

All reactions:
6You and 5 others

Ain't that the truth!

 

[gene49]

I ain't bragging or nothin, but:

After 47 years of being married to the same woman, I believe I'm getting a grasp of some pervasive patterns to her craziness.

If I notice one of those patterns quick enough, I am only wrong about 50% of the time now.

I'm not doing nearly as well with other women.

 

[Old Iron]

 

[23crate]

I ain't bragging or nothin, but:

After 47 years of being married to the same woman, I believe I'm getting a grasp of some pervasive patterns to her craziness.

If I notice one of those patterns quick enough, I am only wrong about 50% of the time now.

I'm not doing nearly as well with other women.

please share tips !!

 

[gene49]

please share tips !!

My tips may not apply to your situation, but here goes.
.
I know its really hard, but you sort of have to pay attention to what they do when they are not crazy (read that as when they are more calm) At least my wife has a way she does everything. Even if her process is really pretty stupid, it is still her process. She probably learned it from other women.

Helping her improve her processes is never good unless she asks for help, but then carefully make only one or two small suggestions. Watch to see if she adapts her process to follow your advice, if she doesn't, don't make any more suggestions on that subject. EVER! Try not to let her see you laugh or make fun of her stupid process. if she sees or hears, you are screwed (and not the way you want). She will neverforget. If she asks again, its a trap, don't fall for it.

When she gets crazy, nothing is going to help.

This advice is worth every penny you paid for it!

 

[forbigpicture]

I've never seen a car that failed a home inspection before.




All reactions:
11K11K

 

[23crate]

My tips may not apply to your situation, but here goes.
.
I know its really hard, but you sort of have to pay attention to what they do when they are not crazy (read that as when they are more calm) At least my wife has a way she does everything. Even if her process is really pretty stupid, it is still her process. She probably learned it from other women.

Helping her improve her processes is never good unless she asks for help, but then carefully make only one or two small suggestions. Watch to see if she adapts her process to follow your advice, if she doesn't, don't make any more suggestions on that subject. EVER! Try not to let her see you laugh or make fun of her stupid process. if she sees or hears, you are screwed (and not the way you want). She will neverforget. If she asks again, its a trap, don't fall for it.

When she gets crazy, nothing is going to help.

This advice is worth every penny you paid for it!

Thanks Gene.. good advice and very workable , will try it out !!

this "

Helping her improve her processes is never good unless she asks for help, but then carefully make only one or two small suggestions. Watch to see if she adapts her process to follow your advice

i make her assemble her purchases, not that i dont to but i want her to learn to build stuff. this is good advice

i like to stir mine up on occasion, in 20 yrs of "ownership" i have mentioned 5 times " your alright for a woman"
the 3rd time i couldve been killed ,then nearly injured badly on the 4th.. every other time i must got the moment right


they are awesome in so may ways ...

 

[Couper]

I think we have a member or 2 that are here in NJ. I needed some new ferrels or olives as they call them for my fuel line and Summit showed a delivery on 1-22. Due to my OCD I couldn't wait and wanted to put this to bed. So I drove down to a very cool place yesterday in Toms River to pick them up. Hobby Town, a really cool Hobby shop with a Speed Shop in the rear. They had everything..... it was so cool that I had trouble breathing LOL. For you guys that might be in NJ - Hobby Town in Toms River. https://www.autoyas.com/US/Toms-River/104665099222562/N-T-Speed-Shop
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090359414280

 

[forbigpicture]

 

[forbigpicture]

 

[hansgoudzwaard]

View attachment 179796

Made me wonder if Uncle was on the stage, or the audience.

 

[offroadrolls]

 

[23crate]

It was only a matter of time, first hybrids
then electric and now vegan.

 

[forbigpicture]

 

[forbigpicture]

A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies. The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from West Virginia. This is a Kentucky duck. You got a Kentucky hunting license, boy?" The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kentucky hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Kentucky duck. This ducks from Tennessee. You got a Tennessee license?" The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Tennessee license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck. "This duck's from Virginia. You got a Virginia hunting license?"
Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly, "Just where the hell are you from?"
The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell me, you're the expert!"

 

[forbigpicture]

 

[earthman]

Who can relate?

 

[smallfoot]

^^^Like that 63 split window coupe for $1300^^^

 

[23crate]

sucks in very large breath , only just managed to hold beer !!!

similar story here mint 39 chev coupe for similar price....

 

[forbigpicture]

Today marks my third week without a drop of coffee or any kind caffeine drinks and running 1-2 miles each day. I've stopped eating fried items, red meat, cookies, Ice cream, cake or anything sweetened. The change in my body has already been fantastic! I look and feel great, and my whole outlook is more positive. I plan to make this my new lifestyle. No soda, eating healthy, vegan, gluten and sugar-free and working out for 2 hours every day.
I don't know whose status this is, but it said to copy and paste.