bob w
Still crazy after all these years!
Bear smart.
Endless BS thread
- Thread starter Bonehead
- Start date
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forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
MercuryMac
Builder Junky!
I remember you telling that story
forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT”… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh ****” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT”… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh ****” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
smallfoot
He's rockin' the "Nuttin Special"!
Dam cuckoos...lol!
MercuryMac
Builder Junky!
It sure sounds like the husband knew which cuckoos were cuckoo and which weren't.
forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting.
“I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.”
“When did you use this awful language?” asks the Mother superior.
“Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that is hanging over the fairway and fell straight to the ground after going only about 100 yards.”
“Is that when you swore?”
“No, Mother,” says the nun.
“After that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.”
“Is THAT when you swore?” asks the Mother superior again.
“Well, no.” says the nun.
“You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!”
“IS THAT when you swore?” asks the amazed Mother Superior.
“No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.”
“Did you swear THEN?” asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
“No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green and stopped about six inches from the hole.”
The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then the Mother Superior sighed and said, “You missed the damn putt, didn’t you?”
“I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.”
“When did you use this awful language?” asks the Mother superior.
“Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that is hanging over the fairway and fell straight to the ground after going only about 100 yards.”
“Is that when you swore?”
“No, Mother,” says the nun.
“After that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.”
“Is THAT when you swore?” asks the Mother superior again.
“Well, no.” says the nun.
“You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!”
“IS THAT when you swore?” asks the amazed Mother Superior.
“No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.”
“Did you swear THEN?” asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
“No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green and stopped about six inches from the hole.”
The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then the Mother Superior sighed and said, “You missed the damn putt, didn’t you?”
I celebrated pride month today!
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
I am just going to say it. That is a perverted looking donut.
Even worse, it tasted like wedding cake frosting!
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
Time to head to higher ground. Two days ago i sold the last of my rats. All i have is a 69 F100 daily driver. Yesterday was the first time in 20 years the driveway didn't have cars parked in it. 8 projects running and not running, the scrap/parts pile on the side of the house, bins of parts in the garage all gone. The house remodeling is winding down and the plan is to build a tiny house on a double RV garage in Rimrock AZ.
smallfoot
He's rockin' the "Nuttin Special"!
Good luck on your new venture eman!
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
Thanks SF
forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
Wishin' nuttin' but the best for ya E-man....
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
Thanks FBP
anvil
Well-known member
sounds like freedom
MercuryMac
Builder Junky!
Sounds like retirement, that's a big step. Good luck, Eman.
earthman
Fascinated by rolling objects!
yep, unloading too many unfinished projects that had become dead weight as well as growing concerns about the deteriorating quality of life here in new LA
