Sometimes life really bites!

[Old Gold]

Hope you guys & gals don't mind but I've been couped up in my house for the last 3 months and this is my only escape to the real world. Just need to let a few things off my mind. Things were great for the last 10 years or so, then a freak accident at work in Dec '06 messed my shoulder up bad. Don't know if any have been caught up in the workers comp system but it's pretty much ruined me in the last year. I'm a master carpenter/fabricater for a museum exhibit co. and the injury has kept me from working in 13 months. Long story long, comp kicked me off in October, lost my insurance, had major surgery in November and I'm stuck in a brace for another 3 weeks and then months of therapy. Anyway I went from what I make in a week to living on in a month. NOT EASY! Today I had to sell my cars, had no choice. They weren't worth much but it'll keep the heat on here another month. My poor wife has been working mega hours and it's hard on our marraige of 17 years. The kids have had to make alot of sacrifices. Does'nt make me feel like much of a man, husband or father. I'm not looking for sympathy, just a little encouragment. Thanks guys!

 

[BruceR&C]

Your right there but things will work out for the better. We've all had some rough times. Just keep a positive outlook on things. Sometimes things look worse before they get better. Sounds like you have a family that is hanging right with you. All this will do is make y'all much stronger & the good things to come feel much better. Things will work out in the end. Our thoughts & prayers are with you.

 

[Todd]

I know there is the lemons and lemonade story. But, you are one smart dude. You have a wealth of knowledge, look into consulting or teaching. Its just time for a little change in course, don't focus on what you can't do but what you can do.

 

[Bonehead]

I know exactly what you are going through, except since I am self employed, I didn't get any workers comp, So at least I didn't have to deal with that mess. (see how I look at the bright side.) My back started giving me real problems in early June. It broke in late August, and left me laying on the floor of my shop, waiting for an ambulance. 11 hours of emergency surgery later I am left with 6 months of no lifting or bending, and a full year to recover, hopefully fully. I can't lie to you, there are days it really suckz. but I think you have to focus on what you have rather than what you have lost.
One really good thing about recovery time.... you have a lot of time to think. Re-make who you are, and maybe what you do for a while, think outside the box, of "this is what I can't do anymore". Good luck with what you are going through. We are with you 100%.

 

[Old Gold]

Thanks guys, just get a little down sometimes. You're words have helped me tremendously! I don't have any family here to speak of so I may lean on ya from time to time. Thank you for the well wishes.

 

[donsrods]

Any of the folks on here will tell you we have all been in similar situations, and that life does turn around usually. There is a very fine line between having a good life and it going into the toilet sometimes.

I understand how you feel about having your wife carry the load for now, but that is what a marriage or relationship is all about sometimes. I had a heart attack about 20 years ago when I was only 43. I was ready to go back to work the next week but my then wife, who is an RN, told me no way. I was going to let my heart heal for 6 months or so. She forced me to quit my job and sit home while she went back to work. I felt like not much of a man too, so I totally understand what you are going through. However, she probably saved my life by doing that. Your wife realizes that you have been a good provider and that this accident was not your idea. There are lots of guys out there who don't have a good work ethic and simply take from their mates.......you are better than that and she knows it.

What you can do to make it better is take all of the other stuff off of her for now. Keep the household chores and cooking done so that when she comes home all she has to do is unwind. I would sometimes have a hot bath drawn for my wife with some fruit and a glass of wine, just to let her know she was appreciated for what she was doing. Also, tell her exactly that. Let her know how you feel about her picking up the slack, and that this is only temporary.

As for your cars going, been there, done that too. You will get another one when your life comes back on track, and it will come back, believe me. I think downturns in our life are God's little way of letting us not get too big for our britches. Every once in a while he makes us grateful for what we have.

I could tell you stories about losing jobs, moving my family all over the country, not being able to find another job, etc etc. Yep, life can be VERY tough sometimes. The other thing is that if a person is very poor or very rich there is all kinds of stuff the Government does for them. But if you are middle class like most of us it doesn't do one d*** thing! Maybe you should start looking into programs your State or City has to help out people who need to get a new start. There might be training or some other programs available.

Don't give up, you have lots of friends on here who are there to listen and try to help you. Plus, you always have to remember the old saying " I felt bad because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet." This is very true. You have more going on for you than you realize, you have family and friends who care. Keep us posted please.

Don

 

[joehalford01]

hang in there dude. They are just cars, and at least you were able to get some money out of them. It's good that your wife is willing to do that for you, like don said, do what you can around the house but otherwise get better. Make ends meet and stay together as a family. It will make you alot stronger and teach your children some valuable lessons about life. You can do it.

 

[Willowbilly3]

Thanks guys, just get a little down sometimes. You're words have helped me tremendously! I don't have any family here to speak of so I may lean on ya from time to time. Thank you for the well wishes.

Dude most of us have to eat a few turd sandwiches in this life. I am sorry about your medical problems, just hang on tight to your family as they are your biggest blessing. Keep posative, posative atracts more posative.

 

[ronnysplymouth]

Try doing that for ten years......................I was diagnosed with a form of Muscular Dystrophy called CMT and am pretty much disabled because I deal with tons of pain and am very unstable on my feet and tend to fall ALOT, my feet are somewhat deformed and have nightmares buying shoes that fit with minimal pain................they said I'd be in a wheelchair by 40 but I'm 39 and it aint gonna happen (I refuse). To look at me I do not look disabled (well maybe mentally...LOL) but I walk kinda funny. I've learned to accept it cuz it could be worse as in the disease could be deadly but its not. I totally understand about the wife working and making you feel like less of a man as my wife is away working as I type. I do work some odd jobs as I feel I am able too whether it be in the shop or minor carpentry. Keep yer chin up it will all work out and if you have a good woman she will stick by your side.

 

[ronnysplymouth]

Dude most of us have to eat a few turd sandwiches in this life. .

I dont care who u are thats just funny.

 

[Bonehead]

We are a mess! Here is hoping we all pull through.

 

[Ike]

In my 60 years I've seen rough times. Everyone on this board is still trying to figure out life's twist and turns. My wife says I'm the most hard headed man she ever saw. Because when life throws me a curve I just get more stubborn. You have an inner strength and if you search deep enough you'll find it. Some people give up before they find it. They are beat before they started. You sound like your heart is in the right place. Sometimes you have to change course to get where your going. Like someone else said before use your job experience to find another course. I changed from welding and construction work to open a sewing machine repair business. My body couldn't take the work any longer. Big change but it worked out for me. Keep your chin up because you can't see where you want to go looking down. Keep smiling it makes people wonder what your up to.

 

[maddog]

A dear friend of mine who I respect alot used to say "The worst thing that could happen IS the best thing that could happen"

I know is sounds twisted but its not. As those doors closed that you mentioned, other doors are getting ready to open. No BS. I have been testing that for years now and its always true.

It sucks that its bad for you and your family right now, for sure, but great things are lining up that you could have never taken advantage of if this had not happened, you watch.

Get ready, brother. Great things are getting ready to happen.

I read this book, "Iron John" . A mans greatness comes from the ashes.

 

[Old Gold]

You guys are all great! I could'nt ask for any better freinds in the world! After reading some of your other tribulations, I feel a bit like a whiney baby

 

[HOT40ROD]

Maybe my story may help you.

I was a paid fire fighter. back in June of 2005 I blow my knee out on a fire call. I had to go on Workers comp and get my knee straighten out. Anyway while i was on workers comp I got behind on bills. I went to the bank to take out a loan to try to catch up with the bills. The bank told me that I had to go back to work before they would give me the loan. I decided not to get the surgery on my knee and go back to work so I could catch up on my bill. I went back in Oct. of 2005 and two weeks later got the loan.

In Dec. of 2005 The borough told me that I had to take early retirement. Talk about a kick in the teeth. Had to take the retirement in Jan. of 2006. (No medical insurance, took way 68 sick days I had saved up and a pension of $208.00 a month. I was able to get unemployment.

Started doing work on the side to pay the bills and also landed a part time job with the community college instructing fire class at the local fire school. Think were looking better. Then I got kicked in the teeth again. In April of 2006 the borough decided to take me to court and try to take my unemployment and also try to take my pension away saying that they made a mistake letting me go. When what happen, the unemployment stopped and so did the pension checks. Went to court in July of 2006 and won. Looked the borough manager in the face and told him that I would live on the streets before I would come back and work for you.

Now things are good. working part time at the college and started my own business. And making more money then I ever did.

So hang in there. They got me down two times. But in the end I won and just laugh at the borough manager every time I see him. He hates that.

Good luck and keep your head up. It will work out.

PS. Still did not get my knee fixed.

 

[RatRodbiz]

I have been lucky enough to avoid injury but I'm still kind of young. I am a self employed Floor Layer and this past year has been terrible for work in Ohio. We are 3rd in the country for forclosers behind only the two states that were bound to burst any way(Neveda&Florida). My wife wants me to get a job anywhere,but it is hard going from over $25 an hr to $7. Not to mention that will just cover one maybe two bills. I have tried to find out of state work for the winter,but really hard to online. Plus I rather not go somewhere far that I don't know anyone and I don't really have to many contacts elsewhere. If things don't look up soon I'll have to start serving Mcnuggets .

 

[Old Gold]

I have been lucky enough to avoid injury but I'm still kind of young. I am a self employed Floor Layer and this past year has been terrible for work in Ohio. We are 3rd in the country for forclosers behind only the two states that were bound to burst any way(Neveda&Florida). My wife wants me to get a job anywhere,but it is hard going from over $25 an hr to $7. Not to mention that will just cover one maybe two bills. I have tried to find out of state work for the winter,but really hard to online. Plus I rather not go somewhere far that I don't know anyone and I don't really have to many contacts elsewhere. If things don't look up soon I'll have to start serving Mcnuggets .

I can completely understand your frustration. Michigan unemployement rate is twice the national average. My job may sound high paying, but it is'nt. Here in MI a two income family making $40,000 a year is considered upper class. My wife and I WERE fortunate to be making a little more, but I think its safe to say we all live pay check to pay check. Wer have to rob Peter to pay Paul. Like you I do not want to re-locate, I'm 40 and this is where our life is. Most companies here would rather hire alot of unskilled low paid people and weed them out then pay for skilled labor. I guess were all a dying breed.