DozerII
Well-known member
You are a real poet Bob, the last one touches close to home , both my parents had demintia and my wife has the beginnings of it.
Hot Rod Poetry
- Thread starter bob w
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bob w
Still crazy after all these years!
Sorry to hear that, Glen. It's a sad experience for the victim and those that love the person.
Boy that is some sad stuff bob....
Sorry to hear that Dozer...haven't had to deal with that but I can't even imagine how tough that is.
Sorry to hear that Dozer...haven't had to deal with that but I can't even imagine how tough that is.
gene49
Well-known member
Going through this with my mom right now. She was diagnosed with having the start of dementia about 2 years ago.
She was living alone at the house her and dad built 54 years ago (dad passed away 9 years ago). My 2 sisters and myself was concerned about the possibility of her falling and not being able to get back up (my wife's uncle fell at his home and wasn't discovered for 3 days, Once found, the damage was already done, he did not recover and died a year or so later). We got her one of those emergency call buttons thinking it would help in the event of a fall.
Three months later, she fell at home and shattered her left fibula bone, but she forgot about that call button she had on her at the time. Fortunate my sister found her about 4 hours later. The shattered bone required her to spend 6 weeks at a local care facility that does rehab.
While at the rehab center, there was a lot of concern about her ability to be staying at home alone safely. It was determined that she needed someone to be there with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, her dementia has worsened, but she has recovered from the broken leg (she uses a walker but I don't think she probably needs it most of the time). None of the three of us kids can stay at her home with her. Having someone stay with her at home around the clock is very expensive ($24,000 a month) and there is not the financial means for us to do that either. We have exhausted all options (believe me, every single option has been explored).
She is currently staying at the best long term assisted living quarters in our area (at $175/day). We will be at the point we will have to put her house on the market next spring. Even though she admits (most of the time) that she can no longer stay at the house alone, she still thinks she is going to get better (her dementia is getting worse, her DR says she can not go back home and live alone).
This challenge is getting worse by the week. We will likely have to take her to court to be able to sell the house so she can stay where she is.
For those of you that do not yet have your own will and proper medical and financial paper work taken care of, you need to get with it and make sure someone has the authority to make medical and financial decisions when you are no longer able to make them yourself. Don't put this burden of having to take you to court in order to take care of you, onto your children. You need to make those decisions while you are still in sound mind so things are done as you would like them to be done. Gene
She was living alone at the house her and dad built 54 years ago (dad passed away 9 years ago). My 2 sisters and myself was concerned about the possibility of her falling and not being able to get back up (my wife's uncle fell at his home and wasn't discovered for 3 days, Once found, the damage was already done, he did not recover and died a year or so later). We got her one of those emergency call buttons thinking it would help in the event of a fall.
Three months later, she fell at home and shattered her left fibula bone, but she forgot about that call button she had on her at the time. Fortunate my sister found her about 4 hours later. The shattered bone required her to spend 6 weeks at a local care facility that does rehab.
While at the rehab center, there was a lot of concern about her ability to be staying at home alone safely. It was determined that she needed someone to be there with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, her dementia has worsened, but she has recovered from the broken leg (she uses a walker but I don't think she probably needs it most of the time). None of the three of us kids can stay at her home with her. Having someone stay with her at home around the clock is very expensive ($24,000 a month) and there is not the financial means for us to do that either. We have exhausted all options (believe me, every single option has been explored).
She is currently staying at the best long term assisted living quarters in our area (at $175/day). We will be at the point we will have to put her house on the market next spring. Even though she admits (most of the time) that she can no longer stay at the house alone, she still thinks she is going to get better (her dementia is getting worse, her DR says she can not go back home and live alone).
This challenge is getting worse by the week. We will likely have to take her to court to be able to sell the house so she can stay where she is.
For those of you that do not yet have your own will and proper medical and financial paper work taken care of, you need to get with it and make sure someone has the authority to make medical and financial decisions when you are no longer able to make them yourself. Don't put this burden of having to take you to court in order to take care of you, onto your children. You need to make those decisions while you are still in sound mind so things are done as you would like them to be done. Gene
MercuryMac
Builder Junky!
I would like to underline what Gene said. Have a trusted person named that will look after your medical and financial needs if you become incapacitated. A will is okay for when you die, but if you just have some small strokes or get Dementia, the will doesn't help; and you will need help.
I've been through this three times now and it isn't pretty.
I've been through this three times now and it isn't pretty.
DozerII
Well-known member
Thanks Bob
bob w
Still crazy after all these years!
My wife and I just redid our wills. Updated the Power of Attorney and Health Care Directives too. I believe we are covered. Very good advice.
Glad my poem stimulated this discussion.
Been trying to write more hot rod related poems but my mind is a wasteland. Got another in the works about life.
Glad my poem stimulated this discussion.
Been trying to write more hot rod related poems but my mind is a wasteland. Got another in the works about life.
bob w
Still crazy after all these years!
I'd like to introduce to my Grandson Adam. 29 years old. A drummer in his church musical group. Straight A's in engineering school. Designed sound systems for arenas, concert halls and stadiums. Has patents. A wonderful supporting family. Last Sunday Adam took his own life. The heartache is beyond belief. The questions will never be answered.
Very sorry for your loss Bob.
DozerII
Well-known member
So sorry for your loss Bob
forbigpicture
Please stand by.......
So sorry for your loss bob....
smallfoot
He's rockin' the "Nuttin Special"!
No words, just ow...
I dumped the original break-in oil...oh what a shame
Not a spec of dirt or condensate to mame.
I've never seen such an oil with it's reddish tinted hues
Now it sits in a Home Depot pail, labeled "Don't Use"
The new break-in oil is in Steph's pan
With these old eyes, reading the dip stick was such a pain in the can.
So much to do before I break in that new cam....
Oil, Antifreeze, gauges, fuel and belt's
All of this before I got to eat the Christmas ham
2500 RPM for a 1/2 hour Gene & Old Iron say
By ear and no tachometer?
Have you forgotten OI that I'm half deaf here, hay?
I will keep you all posted and will have plenty of questions up to that big day
I can't wait to hear that open header rumble
So glad I feel better and didn't have to wait till may!
Not a spec of dirt or condensate to mame.
I've never seen such an oil with it's reddish tinted hues
Now it sits in a Home Depot pail, labeled "Don't Use"
The new break-in oil is in Steph's pan
With these old eyes, reading the dip stick was such a pain in the can.
So much to do before I break in that new cam....
Oil, Antifreeze, gauges, fuel and belt's
All of this before I got to eat the Christmas ham
2500 RPM for a 1/2 hour Gene & Old Iron say
By ear and no tachometer?
Have you forgotten OI that I'm half deaf here, hay?
I will keep you all posted and will have plenty of questions up to that big day
I can't wait to hear that open header rumble
So glad I feel better and didn't have to wait till may!
Glen, Gene,
Sorry to hear about the dementia. We just lost my mother in law last week. She went down hill very fast, got very nasty in her last weeks. I tried to tell my wife that it wasn't her mother acting like that. Very painful to watch, and a shame that folks have to go thru this in their last days. I wish both of you the best with this.
Couper
Sorry to hear about the dementia. We just lost my mother in law last week. She went down hill very fast, got very nasty in her last weeks. I tried to tell my wife that it wasn't her mother acting like that. Very painful to watch, and a shame that folks have to go thru this in their last days. I wish both of you the best with this.
Couper
gene49
Well-known member
Bob, sorry about the loss of your grandson.
Couper, I agree, the thought of dealing with my own dementia when the time comes, or worse yet, making my family go through that mess when they have to deal with me. We have at least taken the steps where when we get to that point, the legal end of it has already been taken care of.
I believe my mom is reaching the point she understands what is happening, but there are times that doesn't help. It really is taking one day at a time. Next month we are probably going to have to move forward on the legal end of mom's situation, none of us are looking forward to that.
Couper, I agree, the thought of dealing with my own dementia when the time comes, or worse yet, making my family go through that mess when they have to deal with me. We have at least taken the steps where when we get to that point, the legal end of it has already been taken care of.
I believe my mom is reaching the point she understands what is happening, but there are times that doesn't help. It really is taking one day at a time. Next month we are probably going to have to move forward on the legal end of mom's situation, none of us are looking forward to that.
Bob I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine all the questions running thru you and your family's mind. Very sad to hear this. You and your family are in my prayers pal.
So sorry you are going thru this Gene. Watching my mother in law go thru this I just can't stop thinking about what will happen when my and my wife's time comes.
NO Malice intended,
Bob, i can not imagine the grief you and yours are going through , yet i have lived this through people i have personally known, and worked with. there is no one to blame.
No matter the thoughts that go with this, please accompany those thoughts with much love ... despite being the hardest and saddest cross to bear.
very kind thoughts
Al
Bob, i can not imagine the grief you and yours are going through , yet i have lived this through people i have personally known, and worked with. there is no one to blame.
No matter the thoughts that go with this, please accompany those thoughts with much love ... despite being the hardest and saddest cross to bear.
very kind thoughts
Al
lazarat
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2018
- Messages
- 657
Hi all, hope you all had a good Holiday, been awhile for me, and am sorry to see whats been going on here, Gene, Dozer, Bob, I am taking the advice. I am just turned 72, and I am starting to organize my stuff for my 3 daughters. They split an old house, a little cash, and an old car and a 2002 GMC with 258k miles.
Bob, I'm sorry to hear about your wife, and your grandson. You are 90? You seem so youthful, to be coming up with the poems and the hot rod life.
My youngest daughter, now at 28, has suffered from depression when she was younger, was suicidal, and was diagnosed with bipolar. I have my doubts about that, she seems to be doing fine, very smart. In fact, when I see the resume of your grandson, I wonder if intelligence and creativity can wire a person differently. I also wonder as do many others, if the early vax and the crap that is in our food have a lot to do with it.
Meanwhile, some of the guys in my circle have been dying off, some younger than me, some leaving amazing car collections, which are still stored in barns. The most recent, Eugene, a couple years younger than me, I last saw him just before this Christmas at a huge car meet (in Apollo Beach).
Every Christmas, he would deck out his 63 TBird convertible with lights, a Rudolph reindeer on the front,, fill the car with fake Christmas gifts, dress up as Santa and drive around using one of those soap filled snow machine toys that shoot foamy snow flakes. A verry merry guy.
He wins the 50 50 at the car show, 300 bucks, goes to bed, the next morning he was found dead.
If and when its my time, my hope, is that I go the way Eugene did. and that we all keep on rodding into the New Year.
Bob, I'm sorry to hear about your wife, and your grandson. You are 90? You seem so youthful, to be coming up with the poems and the hot rod life.
My youngest daughter, now at 28, has suffered from depression when she was younger, was suicidal, and was diagnosed with bipolar. I have my doubts about that, she seems to be doing fine, very smart. In fact, when I see the resume of your grandson, I wonder if intelligence and creativity can wire a person differently. I also wonder as do many others, if the early vax and the crap that is in our food have a lot to do with it.
Meanwhile, some of the guys in my circle have been dying off, some younger than me, some leaving amazing car collections, which are still stored in barns. The most recent, Eugene, a couple years younger than me, I last saw him just before this Christmas at a huge car meet (in Apollo Beach).
Every Christmas, he would deck out his 63 TBird convertible with lights, a Rudolph reindeer on the front,, fill the car with fake Christmas gifts, dress up as Santa and drive around using one of those soap filled snow machine toys that shoot foamy snow flakes. A verry merry guy.
He wins the 50 50 at the car show, 300 bucks, goes to bed, the next morning he was found dead.
If and when its my time, my hope, is that I go the way Eugene did. and that we all keep on rodding into the New Year.
Last edited:
bob w
Still crazy after all these years!
lazarat, once again we cancelled our month and a half vacation in Florida. It was my plan to visit you and smallfoot. In answer to your question, I'm 82 and change. Still building, although I'm convinced the current build will be my last. Gotta get rid of a few of the 9 cars hanging around, although they aren't hurting anyone. Just can't keep them all running. I really don't drive them a lot. I just like the fabrication part of the hobby. The dragster is good because my friends Dave and Jerry are a part of it and we are having fun with it while we can.
The death of my grandson is the worst thing that has happened in my life. I believe you are right that there is a connection between being super smart and/or creative and the tendency toward self destruction. And, like you, I wonder why each generation is getting bigger when physical size is mattering less and less. It's not from good nutrition. It also appears that each generation is getting more narcissistic, possibly causing weaker character and more emotional problems. While I'm unclear about God, I think that religion and church is the tie that binds people to be moral and good.
I'm thinking hard times are good for people and good times are not so good.
Well, that's me, in condensed form.
I have written some pretty depressing poems but don't think they are right for RRR.
The death of my grandson is the worst thing that has happened in my life. I believe you are right that there is a connection between being super smart and/or creative and the tendency toward self destruction. And, like you, I wonder why each generation is getting bigger when physical size is mattering less and less. It's not from good nutrition. It also appears that each generation is getting more narcissistic, possibly causing weaker character and more emotional problems. While I'm unclear about God, I think that religion and church is the tie that binds people to be moral and good.
I'm thinking hard times are good for people and good times are not so good.
Well, that's me, in condensed form.
I have written some pretty depressing poems but don't think they are right for RRR.
