Hot Rod Poetry

[MercuryMac]

You got my vote Bob.
Keep on scribbling.

 

[smallfoot]

Back in 2000
The end of the year
Ol' Smallfoot was looking
His 50th was near
He was looking for something special
to mark this half century ass
My God, he's really getting old
How did this come to pass?
He's worked himself near to death
Hard living and the old Panhead was taking it's toll
His old bones were creaking, his back mostly shot
He was looking for something different
Something new and something hot
Not a Jap, not a Brit
But a new Harley was in his thought
He could do it, he had the bread
A new Harley could be bought
Bike week was coming in the new year
He and Jr booked to New Smyrna Beach
to check out the new rides there
The Harley dealer had em all inside
where he could see all the new gear
They parked right in front, not the side or the rear
Through the front door they walked, finally here
A petite doll baby' soon did appear
She strolled right up to give her best sales pitch
She was a fine looking thing
Would look good riding "bitch"
But her sales talk had one serious glitch
As she started to rattle off all the features
She spoke about what was new and great
Smallfoot had been eyeing a Fatboy
fresh out of the crate
It was brand new and all shiny
The styling was good like the old ones before
But the sales gal made one big mistake
when listing features like motor size and height
She mentioned the motor mounts being rubber
"It doesn't vibrate like they did before"
When she looked up, Smallfoot was headed out the door
She stood there looking confused, as blondes sometimes do
Looking to Jr for some explanation
He turned to her with his serious voice
"Watch what you say to us old souls
there's things we can live without,
but the vibration is by choice"

 

[MercuryMac]

I enjoyed that, Smallfoot.
Carry on.

 

[smallfoot]

I did wind up with a beauty of a Fatboy
but chose a low mile 99 for my toy!

 

[MercuryMac]

My computer has been updated in the last year and I have to learn how to get poems onto this thread again, so here's another try.
Nope, that didn't work either.

 

[bob w]

I wish you would get your computer under control, Mac, and post some poems here.

Smalls, Thank you for the insightful poem.

And Crate, thanks for all the contributions.

26T, you should write your autobiography someday.

And to all the guys that have disappeared from the site, I miss each and every one of you.

 

[smallfoot]

Mac, do you have the material you're trying to post in files on your computer? or are you trying to post from a phone(with that, I'm not able to help you) I find it easy to transfer files on this platform. If you do want help with it I'm willing to try.

 

[MercuryMac]

Thank You, Smalls for the offer. I'm trying to bring over poems on a real computer but it is a wee bit older, I think 2010. I've been writing stuff in 'WORD' and this poetry thread doesn't recognize 'WORD'. When I click on 'Attach files' and go to my documents, I can only find about half of the documents, [none that I wrote in 'WORD'.
I write most of our tractor club newsletter and am able to send all of that to the editor, but not here to 'poetry'.

 

[smallfoot]

Is there a way to convert WORD data to another file type that can be moved to your Documents?

 

[bob w]

Here's my high tech approach:
I compose the poem on free software, like Word.
Hand write it on paper.
Then type it on this site.

Gives me several opportunities to edit it.

 

[smallfoot]

I hand write mine too...

 

[MercuryMac]

I could do it that way, [rewriting], except for another handicap that I forgot to tell you about.
------ I'm kinda' lazy.

 

[23crate]

Mac, .

is a bit technical, but if you ::

left click the mouse, holding the button down while dragging the cursor ( blinky screen thing shows you where youre up to) across any or all text - will highlight blue -

once highlit, remove finger from the left mouse button, right click slightly away from (highlighted text) it will bring up a text box

the word your looking for is "copy" left click on that , go to your already opened RRR page right click again and hit the paste button

avoid the 'delete' button, and i advise short sentences for practice?

im assuming your right handed..

hoping thats not to patronizing,

luck

 

[smallfoot]

Not car related sorry!
The legend of Chuck Roste

For 30+plus years, my old employment host
The motto "SAFETY FIRST" is what mattered most
Some of us figured it was good thought
Some of us figured it mattered naught
The things sometimes they would mention
Had no real use in time or dimension
It was always pointed out, we had to be there
No matter what was going on, it was be there or be square
Down to the point that if you didn't show
You would be written up, a "B" form, oh my God, oh no
2 or 3 of those and you could be sent home
A few more of those and you could be free to roam
Fired from the crew for skipping class
Some of us thought they could kiss our ass
Except old Chuck Roste, a top notch company man
Never missed a meeting, never off the roster
The company never caught on
Old Chuck Roste was an imposter
He was at all the meetings, never missed one
They never knew it was all for fun
We had only 30 guys in our crew
And when the list of attendees was passed back there was always 31
They say he was a good man, he couldn't be beat
In these meetings he was always left a seat
But if you asked anyone, nobody knew him at all
No one knew what he looked like
Was he short like me?, or tall like Paul?
Maybe he was white like Ike
I'll finally let the cat out of the bag
It was all about a company shag
If the company ever found out, they would be pissed
They couldn't confirm Chuck Roste, he didn't exist
Excuse me please for 30+ yeas of sin
He was never at a meeting, but he always signed in

signed, Chuck Roste

 

[bob w]

Ham Berger's brother??? Good one, smalls.

 

[smallfoot]

There's a lot of truth to that poem. It demonstrated just how utterly full of fluff they sometimes were. Not one time did any of the management team ever mention the name. Nobody ever acted like the sign in sheet was ever read to see who was actually there.

 

[bob w]

I have an unverified story like that. I worked at Armour. Swift was right next door. Two packing plants. Two guys, they were janitors. One would punch both of them in at Armour and the other would punch them in at Swifts. It took each of them about 4 hours to do their jobs. Then they would go to the other plant and do the other job. 16 hours pay for 8 hours work.

 

[smallfoot]

^^^

 

[MercuryMac]

​

I'm no good in line-ups.
I only had a great big bag of dogfood in my cart
As I crept forward in the line-up at the Handi-Mart
Boredom was setting in as we all wished to progress.
The woman in front of me, turned and checked out my prize.
She exclaimed, "Ahh, do you have a dog?". Not a surprise.
I had a good story, so I made confusion mask my whole face,
Then I looked at the bag and pretended to get with the pace,
"No, that's not for a dog, That's the new Crumpets diet, for me.
"Oh, she said, I've not heard of that one, grinning with glee."
Does this diet work? Do you think it's something I should try?"
We were now the centre of attention with this story on the sly.
"You could miss the first two meals of a day and never even curse,
Just take a few Crumpets that are in your pocket or your purse.
I said, “After three months I was proud of the pounds I’d shed
Two weeks later, it happened that I woke up in a hospital bed.
Oh, she said, “It isn’t safe. You weren’t getting all the nutrients”
Naa, I said, It’s not like that. It’s that I showed my lack of sense.
Well you see, there was this nice looking dog out on the street
The lady was now anticipating, thinking I’d give the dog a treat.
So then I rushed out to that dog on the street, to sniff its butt
And a speeding car ran over both me and that stupid mutt.
Although the others were laughing, she seemed to be in a fog
I felt bad for her, so I said, ---- oh wait, I think I DO have a dog.


Crate, I tried your tricks and they sort of worked but very slowly, I got the second half first so I started typing in the first half and wen I was all finished typing the first half showed up. I was swamped.
I practiced on this non-car story incase I lost it in the ether.

 

[23crate]

its been a long week nasty of sorts
trusting souls, who are not good sports
dealing with many people all day
probably better off without customers i say
its got to the weekend a bit drained i feel
lost the workshop key again i squeal
mrs crate saw me, said i had it last
dam thats a week ago, too far in the past
the Stude is running ok up to 50
runs brrm grrr brrm grrr not at all nifty
the sequence timing is almost exact
driving me mad, head almost cracked
im leaning toward a carb butterfly
closing the air off briefly i think
i cant see why theres no worn link
yet im sure theres something i miss
i open the hood im not getting the gist
of the problem wiring nope, fuel pump nah
face it Al the missus is right , stupid old car .

right enough of the despondence i fear
Christmas and summer this time of year,
car shows and bikinis at the beach
and beautiful feasts . Careful dont overreach
the warm air sparkles with Christmas cheer
heading towards family fun and sun burn
ouch! vacations fishing flip flops yeah its our turn


oh yeah how the do lawns grow,,
love my 20 dollar lawnmower you know